deep, dark and dangerous

Man up

        DEEP DARK AND DANGEROUS

 

    CHAPTER 18

 

    RYAN P.O.V

 

    “Michelle you have to go.” I stepped to the  side just as Michelle came flying out of the house. Jared was right behind her. His eyes went wide as he saw me.

    “Jared?” I asked as tears filled my eyes and I couldn’t stop them from falling.

    “Ryan no.” He said putting his hands up. “She came here all by herself. I didn’t invite her over.”

    “I gave you everything, Jared.” I whispered.

    “And I’m glad you did. Nothing happened Ryan! I promise.” He said as he got closer. “Please believe me.” He put his hands down in defeat. He walked closer and once he got close enough I fell into his arms. I heard Michelles car speed away.

    “I gave you everything.” I whispered again.

    “Its okay to be sad.” That would be our way of saying forever. Everyone had a way. Either saying ‘I love you’ or ‘okay’. Ours was ‘its okay to be sad.’

    “Its okay to cry.” I answered.

    “She came here. I didn’t invite her over. I promise.” He said as he ran a hand through my hair.

    “What are we gonna do?” I asked.

    “About what?” He asked.

    “Well, every time I’m upset you buy me ice cream but I like other food too.” He smirked and laughed at me.

    “I thought you meant about her.” He said as he walked with me in his arms inside.

    “That too.” I answered. I wasn’t really sure what we were going to do. If he was telling the truth, we had to do something about it because I wasn’t going to be a second choice. You either choose me, or lose me. “Jared, I’m not going to stick around waiting for you just because you know I will always come back. Stop talking to her.” I said as we sat down on the couch. “You’re mine. I don’t like sharing.” He should have known that by now.

    “She had a miscarriage.” He blurted out.

    “Was it your baby?” I whispered.

    “I hope not.” He whispered back. I hugged him. Even if it was his baby, or it wasn’t, I would never wish that on anyone. I would also never wish for someone to get pregnant in the first place. “Even if it was, I would never wish that on her.” He whispered.

    “Neither would I.” I said back. We sat on the living room floor playing video games. “Do you want to talk about it?” He sighed more than once.

    “What if it was my baby?” He asked and sighed again. I wasn’t sure what to say. I wasn’t sure how to comfort him because I had personally never gone through a miscarriage and I hope I never do. “It wasn’t just her baby, it was someone else’s too.” He commented.

    “I know how it works.” I said to him. This is the only time I was willing to talk about it with him. “Jared, I’m not sure how what to tell you because this had never happened to me. But something better was planned for that baby. For you and for Michelle. Those plans did not involve a baby at sixteen. I can assure you that. And I’m sorry if that was your baby I don’t wish that on you or her. I can tell you that I will be here for you when you need me. I will also understand if you need some space along sometimes.” I wasn’t finished and he kept quiet knowing I had more to say. “But please, do not push me away. Because I won’t stop trying. I’m always going to call and text you and maybe even show up at your house. So even if you tried, you couldn’t.” I heard him laugh and I turned around to face him.