goodbye. | ✔️

alone

i woke up and trudged towards the mirror.

honestly, i had no more motivation to even live. but i'll let myself live till the day my body decides to give up.

i gave out a long sigh as i stared at the mirror before me.

puffy eyes.
dishevelled hair.
red nose.

without april — without my protection — , i don't know how i'm going to survive school.

april has always been by my side and supported me in everything i do. yet, i couldn't even be there when she was taking her own life.

i slammed my fist on the vanity table and forced myself to stop thinking about her.

—

"yea, i- i know," kangdae said shakily.

"you know? how come?" i was confused.

he took a deep breath. it sounded like he was going to cry.

"ap- april is my step-sister."

my jaw dropped in shock. how come she's never told me about this?

"oh," that was all i could muster out.

i could hear him trying to hold in his sob on the other line and i didn't know what to do.

"hey," i spoke softly. "cry it out. i'm not here to judge you."

i heard him slowly let go and start crying.

we were sitting in silence but our minds were loud.

—

i missed taeyun.

i missed april.

so much.

i opened up my school bag and stared at the shiny, sharp blade in between my fingers.

i smiled sadly.

—

a/n

idk where i'm going w this book crap