All That Matters

Chapter Twenty-One

Ryan's POV

I paced around my room. I was restless. My stash of weed had run out and my dealer was out of town. My mum's stupid new husband had locked the liquor cabinet.

I could always call over a girl but I wasn't in the mood. I was sleep deprived and exhausted. All I wanted to do was lay down and sleep peacefully for once. But I didn't have the strength to face another nightmare, the last one was still fresh on my mind.

What I really wanted was to talk. Not about myself of course, but I wanted someone to talk to me about their life. What it felt like to live a normal life, you know ? Being able to sleep at night, going out to movies and to have real feelings, shit like that. What it feels like when you're not trapped inside your own head or horrors.

The only person I could think of was Aria. For some stupid fucking reason she hadn't left my head since I last saw her. I didn't know what that girl was doing to me but I didn't like it one bit.

I let my guard down around her without even realizing it. That day on the rooftop with her, for the first time in a long time I had felt normal. She made me feel like I was human again. That I was someone she could talk to and be friends with.

After talking to Alina that day, I had steered clear of Aria. My sister was right. All I would do is fuck her over and hurt her. Like she said, I was incapable of feelings.

Then why was it that when I got high at night I pictured Aria's legs wrapped around my waist ? Why was I desperate to hear her laugh again?

Fuck it. I grabbed the house keys and stormed out the house before I could change my mind. As I stood outside the elevator in Aria's block, I realized I didn't know her apartment number.

"Goddamn it", I cursed under my breath. I knew she lived in one of the penthouses like we did because I'd overheard her complaining about the heat up there to Mark. That cunt.

"I've lost it", I said as I rang the doorbell to a random house on her floor. A girl who looked my age opened the door. Instantly her hand went up to fix her hair as she smiled flirtatiously.

"Can I help you?", she asked sweetly.

"No sorry", I said and headed up to the next door.

After getting suspicious looks from the elderly couples in the next three houses I decided this was a bad idea. After ringing the bell to the fourth house, I turned around to leave when the door swung open.

"Ryan !? What are you doing here ? How did you know I lived here ?", she exclaimed in surprise.

I ran my hair through my hair as I took in her appearance. She'd been doing some sort of physical activity. Her hair was tied into a messy ponytail and her cheeks were flushed. Wisps of hair clung to the nape of her neck from perspiration. Energy radiated off of her, making her look even bright eyed and lively than usual.

"Hey um.. I don't really know. I'm sorry this was a bad idea.", I said shuffling my feet.

"What was ?", she asked opening the door wide open.

"I came to talk. Nothing specific just you know... About stuff.", I said embarrassed. What the fuck was I doing here again ?

"Do you went to come in ?", she said, confusing flashing across her face.

"Are your parents home ?", I asked doubtfully. I knew her parents weren't cool with guys coming over. I was beginning to realise I eavesdropped on a lot of hers and Alina's conversations.

"No but why does it matter?", she asked narrowing her eyes at me.

"It doesn't. Just asking.", I said as I walked inside.

I followed her in silence. As I entered her room, I looked around. She had this black and white theme going on. I liked it. The only theme my room had was weed, bottles of alcohol and some girl's forgotten underwear.

She stopped and turned around to look at me. I could tell she was nervous around me as she picked at her nails.

"Okay so what did you want to talk about?", she asked.

"Aria..", I said softly. I cautiously took a few steps towards her. I could feel her holding her breath. I could feel her heart beginning to race, because mine was too.

I was only inches apart from her now. I could feel the heat radiating off of her body. My hands itched to touch.

"I wanted to take you up on that friend offer", I said finally. She didn't move but I could tell she was uncomfortable. I retraced my steps.

"Oh. Okay. Like normal friends okay ? Not friends with benefits or anything.", she said doubtfully, trying to process the situation.

"Yeah of course.", I told her. "You're not my type anyway.", I added just to annoy her, hiding a smile.

Immediately her expression changed as my words wounded her little ego.

"And you're far from mine. And you couldn't have me even if you wanted to.", she scowled, playfully punching my arm.

Involuntarily I grabbed her wrist and pulled her close, closing the gap between our bodies.

"Are you sure about that ?", I whispered dangerously. Our lips were inches apart, it was almost painful to hold back. She refused to look at me, her eyes glued to my chest.

I didn't insist either. God knows what I'd end up doing if she looked up at me with those innocent doe eyes. I felt her breathing hitch. I enjoyed the way her body reacted to my presence.

"Yes I am.", she replied suddenly pushing me away and regaining her composure. Her embarrassment just added to her aura innocence.

"Don't take that as an insult. My type is the worst.", I said, flashing her a smile. At this point I'd decided I would let myself smile around her.

She let out a musical laugh. I liked making her laugh. I congratulated myself for acquiring the gift of British humour as jokes came easy to me. Usually in the form of insults but nevertheless, jokes.

I'd broken the ice. We got talking and spent the rest of the evening deep in conversation. She introduced me to her life. Usually I never listened to people talk but every word she said registered into my brain like ink on paper.

"We should do this again. I like this...talking.", she said as I was leaving.

I looked at her with a wary smile.

"I do too, Aria. Just.. Lets keep this between us ? I don't want Alina to blow it out of proportion.", I say.

I knew I couldn't keep myself out of this one and honestly, I didn't want to.