Good boys have blue eyes (discontinued)

Chapter 8

I sit there just thinking about jake, all our memories, everything we ever did. He didn't deserve to die, I do I deserve to die just for giving him suicidal thoughts. Everyone keeps telling me it's not my fault but it is, it is my fault if I had just forgiven him he'd still be here. My eyes are swollen, red, and puffy I feel as if we were giving a billion tears and I just used them all. My phone buzzes again, I haven't picked it up at all this week right after I heard about jake I cut myself from the world, I isolated myself from others. I remember one time when jake and I went to the beach and there was this really fat guy and he started stretching and his shirt ripped, I swear we laughed so hard we cried. Someone knock at my door I hesitate for a second "come in" I say my voice hoarse just like it was when Jake broke up with me. My mom comes in with a tray that has a cup of tea and some chocolate chip cookies. " you didn't have to bring me this"I say trying to get my voice back to normal but failing to do so. "Honey, knowing you when your upset like this you'll starve your self to to death" her words lingered on my mind as she left my room. Death. It sounded good right about now but I can't bring myself to do that. I look at the tray my mother brought in and notice a little whit note I pick it up and carefully open it

Dear Kate

So you're probably upset over my "accidental death"

Your probably trying to make up an excuse to make this seem like this is your fault

It's not your fault this was MY decision don't blame yourself for this. I'll always and forever love you,

Your my best friend and I want you to know that. I don't want you to cry for me okay. I want you to be happy.

And trust me I'm happy I'm in the best place you could ever be. I'm in your heart. So go out and be happy don't isolate yourself okay. I love you.

-Jake

I thought I ran out of tears but I guess there were more. At the bottom of the letter there's a ring I instantly recognize it. Jake gave it to me in 3rd grade when we became best friends. I let out a little choke because of how many memories this ring brings up.i don't know why but all the sudden I'm angry I throw the ring halfway across the room crumple up the not and throw it away. I'm desperate for a hug, not form just anyone but from Jake. I didn't realize this but I'm still madly in love with him. I mad at myself for letting this happen. I cry into my pillow. I want jake, I love jake. Why couldn't I just forgive him now I have to suffer without him. I just want to hug him at least one more time.

Yep this chapter is short and shitty but hey everyone is lazy at some points, right. But if it weren't for My_secondlife and apple-_-jack this chapter wouldn't even exist so please follow and support them and remember to vote,comment, and follow me