Raihana | Sequel to Negina

Without Her

Chapter 4

-Aaron Javid-

I can't live like this anymore. It just plainly isn't fair to have to keep away from someone you love. Loving a girl shouldn't have to cost something, even though I will give anything in the world to see Raihana again. I will lay the whole world on the ground for her to walk on, if I must.

My heart hurt at my stupidness and realization that doesn't love me back. She explicitly showed me that by hesitating. Why didn't she say anything back to me? Did I do something wrong? 

The way I see it is; I confessed my love way too quickly, Raihana was not expecting it at all. Her dad came in at the wrong time and ruined everything. And to drop the cherry on top, Raihana right then realized that I wasn't the one for her.

Before I knew Raihana, it was all different. The world for me was drawn in two colors: black and white. She showed me that existing in this world meant living a colorful life. And just as my colors spurred, my artist abandoned me.

I walk home from Raihana's house in complete tranquillity. The cars pass by me in the prowling night, a few stop and ask if I need a ride. I shook my head and kept walking. All I need is her. But I can never have her.

The hardest part about walking away from someone is the part when you realize that, no matter how slow you walk, they'll never run after you.

My phone's battery died, leaving many calls from my cousin Anwar and his parents unanswered. But a cell was the last thing I needed to worry about. I wish I could just blame all this on my mental issues. But, probably, the truth is; I am just a horrible person. I feel like I should have never existed.

As I walked past my aunt and uncle, they noticed my despair. They questioned me about it. I just smiled, I realized that the worst pain is is when your smiling just to stop the tears from falling. I did not want them to worry about my problems.

Also not wanting them to find out about my love for Raihana. Because if they did; the only thing that discussion would end with is me taking a dismal to her father.

My head slams into the pillow. I notice that I am angry at myself. Angry at my stupidness. Angry at Raihana for leading me on and leaving me like this. I hate that moment when suddenly my anger turns into into tears.

Honestly, I hold in a lot.

When I'm upset, I really don't tell anyone. Especially the person who made me that way. No matter how much anyone asks I always reply with a positive answer. Even if nothing is worth positivity.

"Can I come in?" Anwar knocks on the door and without waiting for my answer, comes in. The one person who will always understand me, Anwar.

It may seem strange for me to be living in my aunt and uncle's house. But once you know the whole story, it's not all that strange. It was only a year old when it happened. Our house caught on fire, my mom fainted from the smoke. My dad saved me but when he went back in for my mom the whole house blew up because of a helium gas tank.

"Is something the matter?" Anwar asks, worried about me. He's always worried about me, always keeping me from getting into trouble. Even though, sometimes, even he doesn't manage to look after me. "Are you okay, Aaron?"

I mumble a positive answer and hear him sigh in defeat. "Why are you always like this?"

I raise my head, confusingly replying. "What do you mean?"

He picks up the pillow on my bed and squished it in between his hands. "You close out on me. You never let me hear out your problems, but you're always there for me when I need advise. Don't you trust me?"  He asks.

I sit up next to him of my bed, exhaling a deep breath. "It's not that I don't trust you. You just won't understand. When I tell you about my problems the first thing you'll do is go tell *more and plaar."

(*More- mom)

(*Plaar- dad)

He argues against me, "Tell me, and maybe there won't be any need to tell parents."

"There's this girl-."

"Damn," he interrupts before I even completely start, "It's that deep?"

"It's deeper than you think." I reply, thinking back to my Raihana. Her glowing eyes shining in the dark city as we walked through the dark streets, together. "I think... I think I love her."

He slaps my back, chuckling. "Well little brother, if it's all that simple then just have our dad send her dad a dismal." He suggests.

"She's seventeen!" I groan, remembering.

He gasps out, "If you haven't forgot, your nineteen!" He yells at me. I dreamily sigh, remembering Raihana. "Age is just a number, Anwar."

"Yeah, and jail is just a room!" He says rolling his eyes at me.

It hasn't been twenty four hours and I miss her...

I don't know what else there is to say.