Carla's Story ( Katy Perry Fan Fic )

Chapter 13

(Carla's POV)

I cleaned the blood up and out the glass back in the drawer for later. I laid in the bed thinking about Katy, she didn't seem to care much, that's a good thing. I wish I was back at the orphanage, I wouldn't have had this problem, this addiction to hurt myself.

"Hey can I come in?" Katy asked walking in

"Aren't you already in?" I asked annoyed that she didn't knock

"Well ya" she said sitting in the bed.

"Well what do you want?" I asked scooting over so I wasn't smashed by her.

"Well I want to talk now" she said laying next to me

"Well I don't not anymore" I said.

"Well we're going to talk now" Katy said sitting up

"Then talk because I have nothing to say" I said sitting up as well.

"When did you start doing that?" Katy asked obviously she's trying to avoid saying self harm or cutting.

"Doing what?" I asked.

"You know what" she sighed

"No I don't" I lied of course I know what.

"Yes you do know just answer my question" she demanded

"Oh your talking about cutting right?" I asked

"Yes"

"Well i started doing it when you became annoyed, wait never mind you were always annoying. now please get out of my room" I said standing up

"Hey no you need to answer all my questions and then I'll leave" Katy said folding her arms.

"How about we play a game, I ask you a question and you answer it truthfully and then you ask me a question and I'll answer it truthfully" I said sitting back down

"Ok fine I'll ask first. when did you start doing that" she asked again

"After Carrie came back. why did you adopt me?" I asked

"Because I loved you when I first saw you. why did you start doing it when we found Carrie?" she asked looking at me weird.

"Because I wanted to" she lied about the question I asked so I'm not going to tell her it's only even.

"Come on you have to answer it truthfully" Katy said

"Well you didn't. I don't want to play this game anymore" I said standing up.

"Hey get back here" Katy demanded. I ignored her. I walked downstairs and to the backyard. I sat on the chairs she had outside in front of the pool. It's really peaceful out here.

"Hey we are going to talk wether you like it or not" Katy said as she walked out then sat next to me.

"Fine talk" I said smiling at her. I think I should give her another chance but she only gets one more chance.

"Um ok so tell me why you do it"

I don't want to tell her why I don't want to deal with her wanting to bond or whatever "I like your hair" I said standing up.

"Thanks but why did you start doing it?" she asked pulling me closer to her.

"If I tell you promise you won't get mad or sad or anything?" I guess I can tell her she's not going to stop asking till I tell her.

"I'll do my best" she said smiling

"I felt alone, like nobody cared, like you adopted me just because you felt you had to or something, and that my parents were right that I am useless, annoying, stupid, like I didn't matter and I believe all that is true and I'll always believe it" I said tears trickling down Katy's cheeks.

"I'm sorry I acted the way I did, I'm sorry you felt like that and I'm sorry you lived a life like that but I love you and I'm trying to become a better mom" Katy said crying but she's not my mom I have a mom and she loved me that's why she punished me.

"Your not my mom" I blurted out.

"I'm sorry. I love you and I care, your not useless or anything and I adopted you because your perfect, your important and you matter" she said trying to stop herself from crying, it wasn't working.

Why does she have to say that why can't she just be like my mom where she agrees that I'm not important, I'm not and if I think I am then I would be stupid, I'm not perfect I'm anything but perfect.

"Please stop" I whispered

"Stop what?" she asks confused

"Telling me I'm perfect and I matter and I'm important" I whispered looking down

"No I'll tell you that everyday till you realize its true" she said putting her hand under my chin and making me look up at her.

"It's not true it will never be true"I said pulling my head back and looking down.

"It is true every person on earth is here for a reason and they are important" she said

"We're only here to die how important is that?" I asked looking up at her

"We do die but that's not why we are here" she said pulling me on her lap

"I don't agree but I don't want to talk anymore" I said closing my eyes so the tears wouldn't fall, if I cry I'm afraid I won't stop.

"Ok I guess we can stop but remember I love you" she said kissing my head. love is just a four letter word it doesn't actually mean anything.

"I'm hungry" I said getting off Katy's lap.

"Ok well I don't want to coo-" I interrupted her

"It's ok I not that hungry" I said waking back inside the house.

"Hey wait I was going to say we can go get something to eat" Katy said following me in.

"Oh ok" I said smiling

"Ok so let's go" she said as she grabbed her keys.

The rest of the night we just watched movies. I didn't want to I just wanted to be alone but Katy wanted to spend time with me and I couldn't really say no. last night I heard voices and I wasn't dreaming it was weird. I woke up a lot during the night, because of dreams.

I'm watching tv but the volume really low, I don't want to wake Katy up. teardrop is sitting on my lap she's so cute and tiny. Katy said we were going to look at schools so we can know what school I'm going to go to, I don't want to I hate school.