What a catch Donnie

Champagne For My Real Friends, Real Pain For My Sham Friends

"Well, dear, you can't go to dinner dressed like that!" A young woman with short, bright blue hair said to me. Frank and I had met up yet again to talk and mess around, that was until Frank's mother came along with some of her snobbish friends. The blue haired lady was called Hayley Williams, and she was nice enough.

"Come on, I think I have a suit belonging to my son that might fit you." She said kindly. Frank's mother, who I think is called Linda (I'm not sure though, I wasn't listening), seemed positively repulsed by the idea. I pushed some of my long, greasy hair out of my face and shot her one of my most charming smiles.

"That would be lovely, Miss Williams. I thank you graciously for that offer."

"Don't worry about it, honey. And please, call me Hayley."

I smiled at her and put one hand on my hip, then motioned for her to link arms. She did so, then led me to her room.

Hayley straightened my slightly wonky bowtie before standing back to admire her handiwork. She frowned, then decided to fix my hair, still slightly damp after she forced me to shower.

"There you go, dear. Now be careful, Mr Iero Sr. can be venomous!" I laugh at her but happily take her warning. After thanking her for the thousandth time, I power-walked to the dining hall to see Frank.

As we were seated Frank pointed out the last  person he hadn't introduced.

"That's my cousin Richard, but we just call him Dick."

I can't help but snigger. He raises an eyebrow at me, questioningly.

"What?"

"Dick..." I snorted at him, causing him to go bright red.

"Oh my God, Gerard! You are so dirty minded!" He hissed, seeming quite flustered. I laughed happily at him.

"Oh, calm down, sweetie! I was only joking around!" I retorted, hoping to make him even more embarrassed, if that was indeed possible.

"Please, Gee, don't call me that..." He muttered. Unfortunately, I couldn't stop, I was on a roll.

"What should I call you then? Beautiful? Honey? Darling?" He shook his head at me sadly.

"No, just Frank. You see, my father's... homophobic. Very homophobic."

I felt the colour drain from my face. If Frank's dad caught me teasing, Frank could get into a lot of trouble. I nodded at him and mouthed a sad sorry.

"Why were you telling him that I'm homophobic, Frank? He isn't gay as well as a filthy scumbag, is he?" A voice that I instantly recognised announced behind me. I shivered, remembering being pushed against a wall, interrogated by that exact same voice. I remembered his foul breath against my face, and his eyes piercing through me, as if looking into my very soul.

"No, no, Father! He's just... flamboyant!" Frank laughed, "Why would I be friends with a gay? I wouldn't even go near one. You never know, it could be contagious." He was either very good at acting, or telling the truth. I hoped it was the former. Then, to my horror, Frank Sr. turned his attention to me.

"Well, lad, some could mistake you for a gentleman!" he complimented in a cheery tone.

"Why, thank you, Mr Iero. I must say, I am honoured to dine with you tonight." He smiled at me, I must have done something right, for once! As if to rescue me from a very awkward conversation, waiters came out carrying small plates, each with a tiny pile of black stuff. Cavier. I smiled and nodded politely at the young man who served me. He had obviously noticed my disgust when I saw the food. He leaned down and whispered quietly to me:

"Just swallow, don't chew. You'll be fine." I smiled and nodded thankfully to him again.

"Gerard, I would ask you to please not talk to the servants. It's ungentlemanly." 

I nodded to him, "Sorry, Sir." He smiled at me, so I smiled back politely.

"I'm starting to take a liking to you, boy." he said sweetly, " But you seem to be man  of few words."

I smiled at him again, then watched as he started to eat. I tapped Frank's knee lightly, making him look at me questioningly.

"Are they slimy?" I asked, pointing at the cavier. He shook his head.

"Just don't chew, okay?" I nodded at him, then took a small mouthful. They  tasted salty, and were slightly cold. Chewing couldn't be that bad, could it? I decided to risk it. What is it with me making bad decisions lately? They seemed to pop, and I was only just able to keep myself from gagging. I felt Frank's eyes burn into me.

"You actually chewed. I can't believe you've done this." He grinned at me. I laughed with him, then gagged, the fishy taste still lingering. I felt all the eyes at the table turn to me.

"I'm not much for seafood, I'm afraid." I muttered, quickly looking down in shame.

"It's okay, love. I have to agree with you, I have trouble stomaching fish eggs myself!" Hayley chimed in cheerfully. I looked her in horror.

"Fish eggs?!" I cried out as she sniggered.

"Yes, dear, what did you think it was?"

"I don't know!"

I threw my hands up in exasperation before downing my glass of wine. I heard Frank snort next to me, stopping when his dad shot him a stern look. I glanced apologetically at him, before waiting for the main course.

About an hour later, when the dinner party had drawn to a close, I stood up and looked at the table-full of people who (except for Frank and Hayley) I had come to despise. I nodded at them, thanking them individually.

"That was an amazing meal, I thank you graciously for the invite. However, I must leave now, as I have matters to attend to elsewhere." I droned, trying to be as much like the posh people as possible, with a fake smile plastered across my face. Frank's dad nodded at me as I took me leave. I walked around the table, making sure to drop a neatly folded piece of paper onto Frank's lap. Then I promptly left.