Jones

Ch 76

Dreams-Timecop1983

First day of school...

I walk into school and stand at the gates. In between the outdoor hallways for the music hall and main office. I block out the sound of screaming girls hugging their friends for the first time in three months. Everything is in chrome and moving with shadows. I still can't hear the voices and screams around me. This all feels new and I don't know how to feel about this being the last year with my best friends. High school isn't ready for me and I'm not ready for high school. I feel a hand smack my shoulder and it brings me back to reality. Its Crystal.

"Make it a good one" she says and looks at me before walking off.

Soon I see the familiar pattern of a skirt that belongs to Angie. She decided to go with the skirt. My heart jumps up and down in my chest until it calms down and my feet regain consciousness. She turns around and screams. She runs towards me and I steady my feet and hold out my arms to prepare myself for the hug of my life.

"OH MY GOD" she yells and jumps on me. The coffee in her hand spills on my shoulder a little but I don't acknowledge it. I wrap my arms around her and inhale the scent of her new perfume that I know has never touched her skin before today. My hands caress the soft fabric of her knitted sweater that drops under her elbows and savor the smell of her beachy  cocktail perfume that makes my nostrils sting with delicious fragrance. Behind Angie I see Kassidy, Grace, Tommy and of course, Daniel. When Angie lets go of me he shoots me a look and I smile at him to kill him with kindness since this is a new school year therefore a new Paulina.

"Paulina your hair. Wow" Angie says.
"You look absolutely beautiful" she says and touches it lightly. My heart flutters with her compliments and I feel less doubtful.

The loud speaker comes on and Ms. Torres speaks.

"Welcome back turtles. Please report to your homeroom listed on your tentative schedule" I hold my crumpled schedule in my hand and and stare at my homeroom.

"Whats your homeroom" Angie asks while staring at me with a grin on her face.

"Mr. Bryan," I say hoping she has the same one.

"Aw damn I have Bedrosian." she says and my heart sinks.

"Can I see your schedule?" she asks and I hold it up next to hers.

"None of our classes are the same." she says and squints at them.

I see Angie look behind me and her face runs pale.

"Hey" I hear a deep voice say from behind me. I turns around and see Isaac. His hair is longer his voice is deep and he's dressed like the guy he was before I met him. He's dressed like the boy who used to torment me because he liked me. He's dressed like the boy I didn't make in him into. He's dressed like Isaac.

"uh..Hi" I say and smile.

"You look great" he says to me looking at my outfit.

"As do you," I say and bend my knees a bit.

"Nice hair" he simply says and I scrunch my lips together

I hold my arms out and we hug each other. He still hugs me the same. His hugs feel warm and graceful. His fingers bury themselves into my hips and his elbows squeeze me together. I feel his nose touch my neck when his chin rests on my shoulder.

"You smell great" he says in a tone that makes me melt.

He lets go and squints at me with a smile on his face.

"See you around Pauls," he says and lazily steps away. Everyone looks at him with their jaws halfway to the ground including Angie. She watches him walk away without even caring that I'm not his girlfriend so much. Its complicated.

"Paulina!" Kassidy says and hugs me

"Girl I missed you nice hair by the way," she says and I try to react the same.

"Guess what?" she asks

"Huh" I say

"Tommy and I broke up" she says shockingly with a smile still on her face.

"Oh my god are you ok?" I asks and put my hands on her shoulders.

"Oh yeah totally I feel so much more liberated and less full of drugs." she says and its true her skin is clearing up.

"Thats great Kass." I say and the bell rings.

Angie and I walk towards the back of the school to our homerooms.

For a moment I feel washed away. The chatter from everyone around me makes me realize that I'm probably the only one who feels older than everyone else. Its like a cascading set of deliberate actions made towards me for what? A moment of simplicity that means more to others than me. The sounds are mute and all I can see is really just Angie telling me a story but me not listening because I'm lost in this rhetorical universe that strips me of all the power I have to even think properly without worrying what will happen next. My mind is busy trying to elaborate the fact that this is my last year with my most beloved set of people and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. I have one more year to make up for everything but its hard to do that when it feels like most of my time is spent on trying to make people feel better about themselves or trying to get people to understand me.

Its hard to explain something even though I've relived it so many times. It was time for me to finally live up to my reputation. I went from Paulina the learner to Isaacs girlfriend. Owned by a boy who loved me but got me to love him by using his bad boy charm that made everything seem so alive and brilliant its the excitement that came with his existing reputation. Now I know what you're thinking.

"Paulina shut the fuck up and stop overthinking like always." yeah I mean I wish I could but to explain something tactically and strategically you have to overthink.

Now todays the first day of 8th grade and The rest of this year will be made up and spontaneous. Im hoping but I promise.

I'll make it a good one.