Take me away

Chapter Twelve: Panic attack

I'm sick 😷 yuck lol I love being in my bed, but I hate being bed ridden...

So I love my bed, but I hate it.

It's a love/hate relationship

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Kat shook her head and grabbed her temples between her pointer and middle finger. She took deep breaths trying to calm down before it got serious. "Come on Kat." She scolded herself as tears started to build in her eyes. Kat had never met anyone who had experienced a panic attack and could relate or understand what Kat was going through in that moment. She had only been through this once after her dad molested her for the first time. That was so long ago...For a time she had forgotten the feeling, but there it was again. The feeling of hopelessness and overbearing fear filling her mind and twisting her stomach into a tight knot that made her feel like she was about to throw up. It was the feeling of her heart threatening to beat out of her chest and her head screaming.

It was the feeling of sinking and not being able to swim. She could hardly catch her breath and she knew she couldn't just lie there so she stood. Kat's feet came in contact with the carpet beneath her and the world spun tilting at odd angles as she felt light headed suddenly. Her goal was to make it to the bathroom and she eventually did. She wasn't sure why she went there, but it was the only place in the house she knew her way to. Kat collapsed onto the cool tile curling into fetal position and pressing her cheek down against the floor hoping she would soon cool off and calm down. A single tear escaped down her cheek soon followed by another and then another until she was crying softly to herself on the floor in the bathroom.

For a moment, she closed her eyes just praying and hoping it would all end when she heard footsteps. Kat's body tensed, but she didn't open her eyes. A voice startled her, the only voice she wanted to hear but the last person she wanted to see her in such a state. Jake. Kat opened her eyes to see Jake in the door way with a hot blush in his cheeks and his eyes slightly widened in surprise at her body. She had almost forgotten she was only in her bra and panties. This made Kat cry more, "I'm sorry." She apologized. Jake simply shook his head and knelt beside her, "Don't be...Kat, what's wrong?" He kept his eyes locked on hers which was a beautiful gesture that was caring more about her than her body. A gesture her father had never made."I-I'm having a panic attack." She explained as tears streaked her face, her voice cracked as she spoke. Kat looked up at him wondering if he would understand.
Jake's face showed no sign of understandment as to what she was going through yet he pulled her head gently off the tile floor and set it in his lap. "I'm here." His voice hushed her soothingly.

Kat nodded and his simple presence helped her though she didn't stop crying for another twenty minutes when the attack seemed to pass. "Jake..." She croaked feeling a new rush of fear much different than she had felt before. The first fear was without reason, it was just an uncontrollable panic attack. This fear was one of losing Jake. She knew he would never look at her the same after seeing this side of her pathetic self. Jake looked down at her running his fingers through his hair, "Hmm?" There were dark circles under his eyes now and he was obviously fighting to stay awake. Kat pursed her lips to a fine line, "I am so sorry." She apologized again not knowing what else to say or do. Jake only smiled, "Don't be." He whispered the words he had said earlier before grabbing underneath her armpits and helping Kat to her feet. With a small stagger, she gained stability and managed a small smile. Jake's firm hand touched the middle of her back and gently guided her back to bed where he watched her lay down, "You going to be okay?" He asked running a hand over his face.

Kat watched him feeling guilty she had woken him up and hoped he didn't think of her as an attention seeker or anything, "Yeah...Thank you. I mean it, thank you." He smiled and nodded, he turned on his heel and started to walk out but paused at her door. "If you want I can get some sleeping pills." She bit her lip knowing that would be a good choice, but not wanting to make him do anything else for her tonight, "Its okay." She assured him, but Jake didn't buy it because he left and then came back with a pill and glass of water in hand. Kat sighed as she saw it and sat up slowly taking the water from him and popping the pill in her mouth, she sipped the water and swallowed the pill with ease. "Thanks..." Jake smirked, "You seem to spend a lot of time thanking me." She paused for a moment, "I have a lot to thank you for." She said as she slowly slipped down underneath the covers.

Jake sat down by her side, "Do you get panic attacks often?" He asked softly watching her closely. Kat shifted awkwardly under his gaze and shook her head, "No..." He nodded and the last thing she remembered before the pills pulled her under was the warmth of the sheets and the comfort knowing that Jake was there.

~~~

Poor Kat :/

Read the next chapter to see how Kat adapts to her new home and how her relationship with Jake begins to blossom

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