What is Love? (Ashton Irwin || AU)

Ashton || 8

Since you won't respond to me I'm going to write you these letters. I don't see the point of sitting in a room with you and talking to you, if you just sit there and do absolutely nothing. It's like I'm talking to a brick wall. That's basically what you are, a brick wall. You don't move, you don't eat. I'm worried Ashton. I'm really worried. I don't understand what's wrong. You were fine. We were laughing and having fun together. I don't get it.

Your mom told me. She didn't tell me everything, but she told me. She told me this has happened before. She didn't tell me why this has happened and why it's happened again. I just wish someone would. I feel so out of the loop. Someone I care about is ignoring everyone and isolating themselves from everything and I don't know why.

I wish you would talk to me. I miss hearing your voice. I miss seeing you smile so big that your dimples show very prominently. I miss your laugh. I miss you. We just started to become friends and I already feel like I'm losing you...Please? Stop shutting me out..

Sammy.

I set the letter down on the bed in front of me and hug my knees to my chest again. I haven't moved from this spot since I sat in it yesterday. I barely slept last night because I feared I would see that horrid nightmare flash in my mind again. It's hard. It's hard knowing that she's hurting because of me, yet that's the whole reason I'm keeping my distance. I don't want another repeat of Stacy. I grab the letter and toss it to the floor. I want to sleep, but I'm afraid to. Before I have time to think of anything else my mom walks through the door.

"Ashton? Sweetie you need to eat or something. You're going to make yourself sick." I don't do anything. I just sit there frozen as if she's not even in the room. "Will you eat if Sammy comes over and makes you eat? I've run out of options and I can't let you go without eating. You'll starve yourself to death." I slowly nod my head. As much as I don't want Sammy to be here, I need her here. Maybe I'm just overreacting the whole thing. "Oh thank god. Sammy!" Seconds later Sammy walks into the room. She looks terrible. I hate to say it, but she does. She has her hair up in a very messy bun. She's dressed in sweatpants and a baggy shirt. She looks like she hasn't slept in months, and it's probably all because of me. I turn my head away from her and focus on the wall in front of me. I hear my mom walk over towards the door and Sammy walks closer to me.

"Hey Ash. I brought you some spaghetti. Your mom told me it's your favorite. Please eat it?" I slowly turn and look at her and she looks like she may break down in tears any second. I slowly extend my arm towards her and grab the bowl from her hands. She gives me a small smile as I begin to eat. I never realized how hungry I actually was until I took the first bite. Never again will I go without food. "Do you want some water or something?" Sammy questions as I finish off the spaghetti. I nod my head and she takes the bowl from my hands and leaves the room. A few minutes later she returns with a full glass of water. She walks over and hands it to me and I down the glass in thirty seconds. "Will you please talk to me now? I don't want to keep writing you letters. I want to hear your voice." She pleads. I take in a deep breath and contemplate if I should just open up. It's not like my nightmare will become a reality. It didn't before, why would it now?

"I'm sorry." I whisper. I almost think she didn't hear me until she turns her head and looks at me.

"Wait what?" She asks.

"I'm sorry." I say again, a little louder but still a whisper.

"Oh my god." She says as she lunges toward me and crushes me in a hug, burying her face in my neck. "I never thought I'd hear your voice again." She whispers into my neck. I slowly put my arms around her and hold her tightly. "I won't push anything. If you want to tell me anything else you can when you're ready. For right now I'm just glad I heard that. God it's been the longest two days of my life." She says.

"I shouldn't have shut you out. You didn't deserve that. No one did. I'm sorry." I say to her.

"It's ok. All that matters is that you're becoming you again. You're eating and talking and reacting when I hug you." She smiles at me. I give her a small smile back and grab her hand, lacing our fingers together. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Woo hoo!!! He's talking again. It didn't take too long, but it was long enough. Just imagine if Ashton didn't talk for a few days. That'd be horrible! Vote and comment and all that shit!! :)

-Kourtnie<3 xxx