June 15th,
I am done with life at this point. Theres honestly no one who cares and i can count on being there for me all the time. My dad is a worthless piece of shit who does drugs all day and forgets about us. My mom, well she does nothing but points out all my flaws and makes fun of me thinking that shes helping in some kind of way when shes just making my anxiety worse than it already is.
My parents called me to the living room earlier just to tell me that i only come out of my room to get food or to use the restroom. They also wanted to tell me to start picking up after myself. I am the only one in this damn family who picks up after themselves.
People always ask me what my problem is, but i think my problem is that i dont know what my problem is. Im afraid that one day ill cut to deep and run into a blood vein, or ill throw up to much that there will be nothing left in my system. But while im cutting or throwing up i dont think about the things that could happen, i just keep on doing it. Ill do whatever i can to make the pain go away even if it means to feel physical pain.
None of my friends know that i cut, they only know that im anorexic. Only Elena, Zo, and Wendy know about me. Their all i can trust right now, their my best friends.
