Texting Vol. 1 》 t.j.

Texting 12

Jamie's pov

I put the last of my drink to the side. The sweet tangy orange juice swept past over my taste buds in a bittersweet after taste effect. The trash of the already gone food was piled up on the floor, next to my bed. Tyler sat across from me, one leg crossed in front of him and the other was swinging slightly back and forth off the bed.

“You know Brista's is really nice. Like, the place and just the vibes from it. We should definitely go sometime,” Tyler said. I could see a mixture of a distance smirk and the curving lips of a smile.

I wanted to say no, because he’s probably gonna say something flirty, but I did want to check the place out.

“Maybe,” I simply said.

He rose his brows in amusement. “You know, this "friends" thing isn’t so bad. I mean, yeah, sometimes I just want to grab you by your neck and kiss you. And I want to hold you most of the time, but I also like the fact that you’re resisting me. It’s hot. All that power your reeling from deep within you, just so you won’t feel attracted to me.”

I could feel the heat wanting to spread throughout my cheeks, but it took all the will in me to not give him the satisfaction of knowing that he spoke truth. Instead I said, “wow, Tyler. You sure do know how to kill the moment, huh?”

“I know you’re flustered. Your cute face is turning pink, just a little though. You see, I told you you’re good at the resisting thing. Your face would be red if you weren’t pushing back.”

Somehow this made me want to abruptly smash my lips on his and tell him that I’m not resisting if I’m doing. That’d give him more satisfaction, and Dylan and I’s relationship is going somewhere. So I didn’t. “God, I’m not resisting you, I’m just annoyed by you. We’re just friends and I have a good thing going on with Dylan.”

His face didn’t change from delightment. “Ouch. Just kidding, I’m not bothered. You’ll soon find out that you’re in love with me.”

I laughed, to show him otherwise. “As if.”

“I mean, do you really like Dylan?” Tyler suddenly asked. His face contorted from a faint sneer to confusion, a crease inbetween his brows.

I didn’t want to hesitate, I wanted to prove to him that he would be the last person I thought of as anything more than friends, that I only liked Dylan… as far as he knew. Or maybe it was obvious that I liked Tyler. Ugh! “Yes, I do. I think I might even love him.” The entire sentence sort of came out in a blur and in a rush.

Even though his face held no emotion, I thought I almost saw a streak of pain cross his face, but it could have been something else. Of course I wasn’t falling in love with Dylan. The two years ago me, probably was in love with him. But I don’t know if I even have that strong attraction towards him anymore. In a way, I hate Tyler. I hate Tyler because I want to like Dylan and experience the expectations and hopes that I had set out for him and I. Except I can’t. I can’t, because everytime I think of Dylan, Tyler will always be hidden in the cracks of my mind.

“I don’t love him. It just came out. I don’t even know why,” I said, trying to clear the awkward tension building throughout the room.

“Even if you did, you wouldn’t have to explain.” Tyler said. His face remained blank. Just tell me what you’re thinking of Tyler Joseph.

I nodded once. “Of course I know, it’s just- never mind.”

“You can tell me, you know. Whatever it is.”

I bit my lip, contemplating whether or not to admit how I felt about Dylan. “Yeah, I know.” I paused for a few seconds. Drew in a breath and exhaled. “I like Dylan, I do, but I don’t know. It’s like I made up this happy couple in my head, that did everything together and both of them were committed to each other. But then, we actually started dating and then… Ugh. He’s a great guy, but I don’t know if I still like him the way I used to. It has nothing to do with him, Dylan is a great guy. I just, maybe- I don’t know. I think it’s me.” I finally said. Saying the words I’ve been feeling biting at my skin since Dylan and I’s first date.

“Break up with him.” Tyler said, without a trace of pity or concern, for my situation, laced in his voice.

I furrowed my brows. “No, I can’t.”

He scoffed, almost in annoyance. “And why not?”

“I j-just can’t-”

“That’s not a real reason Jamie. You clearly don’t like the guy.”

I bit my lip, retracting back my next words. I don’t know why I didn’t want to break up with him. He was sweet, charming, gorgeous and romantic, perfect. Dylan was perfect. Why the fuck would I not want to be with him. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted since sophomore year. Yet, somehow I’m regretting showing up as his plus-one to the basketball game a few weeks ago.

“Jamie?” Tyler’s soft voice suddenly caught me off guard. “You’re lip is bleeding.”

Only then did I realize, that I was pinching my teeth deeper into my bottom lip. “Shit,” I mumbled, as I tasted the metallic warm blood.

Tyler reached over to my bedside table, grabbed a tissue and surprised me when he pressed the soft cloth to my lip. I glanced down between the tissue and back into Tyler’s eyes. The weight of his eyes pushed me down. They were intense, but comforting. I placed my hand over his hand that held the tissue. His hand was warm, it felt strong too. This was a perfect moment, asides the fact that I was bleeding. This was a perfect moment to fall in love with Tyler. This was a perfect moment to kiss Tyler’s pink full, beautiful, plum lips. This was even a perfect moment to admit my unspoken feelings for Tyler and tell him that I’m going to break up with Dylan. Or tell Tyler that we should run away. I didn’t do either of those things, instead, I took the tissue from his hand and stood up.

“I think I should go,” Tyler said, standing up as well.

“Uh, yeah, okay.”

I didn’t want to leave off on such an awkward note. He brushed past me and to the door. I didn’t want him to go, I didn’t want him to think that I was to pathetic and weak to separate myself from Dylan. I wanted to follow Tyler when he opened my door or when I heard his footsteps going down the stairs, from down the hall. I couldn’t bring myself to follow him when I heard the front door open, then close.

It could be, that the reason I couldn’t break up with Dylan was because if I were to-- I’d be confirming the threatening thoughts that have non stop tormented me since I stared deep into Tyler’s honey brown eyes. Something about the hidden light in the deep brown, pulled me out of some trance I had been stuck in with Dylan.

All of this was too much.

So what if I liked Tyler and I’m dating Dylan to hide the fact that Tyler and I are just not friends. Besides, if I told Tyler this, then I’d only be ruining a perfectly good friendship. It’s not like Tyler would feel the same way. It’s not like he constantly has me roaming his brain in some painful, alluring way that somehow makes his blood rush cold. It’s not like he likes me. He could have anybody, I’m just a friend to him. He’s a friend to me. We’re just friends.

Except… somewhere deep in my bones, I can sense that we know that our “friendship” won’t last long. Something will break.

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a/n-

I'm kinda, really, happy with this chapter. i hope you enjoyed.