Billy Hargrove // DNA

Chapter Nineteen

Billy was awakened by loud music blasting through his radio. He had connected the radio with his two speakers so that the volume could be as loud as he wanted it to be. He constantly surrounded himself with loud noises because he couldn't bear the silence. 

Silence reminded him of loneliness which he experienced daily.

With a smooth movement he extended his long arm and pressed the power button. The empty room quickly filled with an awkward silence. Billy sat up-right in his bed and rubbed his eyes while yawning hard. After a few seconds he crawled out of bed and his bare feet touched the cold floor as he did so. 

Billy walked to his wardrobe while only wearing a boxershort. His clothing style mainly consisted of jeans and simple shirts. He wasn't the type that wore colorful t-shirts or worn out trousers like Jonathan Byers did. Billy was someone who stood out because of his physique which was complimented by his tight clothing. He was proud of his body so why wouldn't he grab every chance he got to flaunt it?

As usual, he chose a tight white shirt with blue jeans underneath. After he had dressed himself, he went to stand in front of his mirror. Billy studied himself and felt a little concerned when he saw slightly dark circles under his eyes.

He had hardly slept this night. Yesterday he had a terrible fight with his father thanks to Max. Max was the cause of many problems. She was the reason why his father treated him badly. Whenever she disappeared his father held him accountable. No matter what Billy did, it was never good enough. 

He was never good enough. 

That's why he did what he could do best. He flirted with girls and beat up weaker guys in order for him to feel good. 

Billy sprayed some cologne on his neck while his thoughts involuntarily went to a specific person. Amelia Jonsen. His heart immediately beat faster when he thought of her. He felt mixed emotions and didn't understand why she was the one who confused him. Amelia wasn't the prettiest girl Billy had ever seen in his life, but somehow she was the only one he was willing to let close. None of it was easy. 

While sitting on his bed Billy put on his socks and shoes. He thought back of the night when he had rushed outside and walked to Amelia's house. When he saw a female figure standing by the window he was sure that it was her. Without hesitation and with great courage he climbed the ivy. In hindsight, that might not have been the smartest idea since he could have fallen on the ground and broken some bones.

He remembered her shocked face when she had noticed him. At first she didn't respond but he was persistent so eventually she opened her window. "What are you doing here?" Amelia had asked. "I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you." He had said but he didn't want to talk. 

He just wanted to feel someone's touch and since she was the nearest girl in his neighborhood he choose her. 

Billy had said everything in order for them to sleep together but she didn't bulge. He had even said that he liked her which many girls fell for. Or that's what he thought when he said those words. 

When she repeatedly rejected him, it seemed as the alcohol took control over his tongue. He couldn't think straight any longer and the high walls he had build were left unprotected.

He had grabbed her by the shoulder. "I'm not the kind of boy that's loyal to a girl, I've never been someone's boyfriend." That was the truth. "You're probably the only girl at school who doesn't follow me around like a lost puppy." That was a lie. "You're different. I saw the fear in your eyes back in the diner. I saw the pain in your eyes yesterday. You're real." That was the truth. 

Amelia had reacted differently than he expected. She had turned away from him but Billy desperately needed someone to touch him so he had cupped her chin with his hand and kissed her. She didn't protest but when he tried to undress her she quickly changed her mind. "Are you a virgin?" He had asked. "Yes." She had replied. Billy immediately rolled off her and sighed deeply. He wasn't too fond of virgins as they tend to be clingy. "It's okay if you wanna wait. I won't force you." When she started to cry softly he began to feel confused. This wasn't the way he had imagined how this night was gonna go. He found the situation awkward so he decided to leave.