Broken (Sequel to Keeping Secrets)

Chapter 3.

"Well, you know that my home is open anytime for you to come stay, and I know your father would say the same. Call me if you need anything, sweety. I love you." 

"Thanks, mom. Love you, too." 

I hit the 'end' button and toss my phone to the other side of the couch. I sit in the silence, surrounded by the white walls and tons of assignments that are due Tuesday. I have the rest of today, and then Sunday and Monday, so I decide to procrastinate. Like always. My phone buzzes again and I groan, reaching over and grabbing it. The caller I.D. says Tony and a small smile spreads across my lips. 

"Tony.." I say sweetly. "What are you doing?"

"Well, lovely, I was going to ask you the same question." I can practically hear him smile. 

"Well, I should be doing my class work, but we're out Monday, so now I'm just soaking up the lonely."

"Would you like to go out?"

"How about you just come over and I'll bake a chicken or something?" He's nice to ask, considering he knows almost everything that's been happening the last few days, but I would rather stay in. 

"Anything for you, lovely." I smile and shake my head. 

"Why do you always call me 'lovely'?"

"Would you rather me call you something else? I mean, I have a few others that I could use.. daddy's little sl-"

"Tony," I giggle. 

"Sorry, lovely, but you can't deny that you like it." I can practically hear his smirk through the phone. 

"Whatever, I'll see you in a little bit. Text me before you come. Oh, and bring something to drink?" 

"Of course. Goodbye, lovely." I smirk and hang up. I decide to watch some t.v. Well, I won't actually watch it, but it beats the quiet. 

Tony and I have had a lot of sex lately, but he knows that's all it will ever be. Just sex. Casual sex between two friends. I'm not ready for anything serious yet, and I honestly don't know if I'll ever be ready again. 

I end up turning it off the t.v., putting on some music and opening all of the windows and curtains. I look at my living room. So bright, so, lit up. A knock is heard at my door and I rush to get it. 

I open it to find nothing there except a dozen roses in a blue vase. I reach out and pick them up. A note is placed in between the flowers. I open it and begin to read it. 

"The loneliest moment in someones life is when they are watching their whole world fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly." -F. Scott Fitzgerald. 

What is his problem? He just won't stop. I don't understand why him seeing me has changed everything. He didn't send any flowers until now. He never came by until now. He didn't want anything to do with me until now. Why now? God, I miss him, though.

He cheated on you, Danielle. My conscience reminds me. People forgive people for cheating all of the time. 

No. You're not going to forgive him. 

But, I want too.. I really, really, want to. 

I place the flowers in the middle of my dinning room table, admiring them. Maybe I should forgive him. It couldn't hurt, I mean, obviously he would need to show me that he deserves me back, but its been so long. So fucking long, and he didn't even try one time before now. 

I look at the clock, its already two-forty five and I'm suppose to be baking a chicken for Tony. I quickly turn the oven on and prepare my chicken. By three o'clock sharp, the chicken is in the oven, and a knock is heard at the door. I smile to myself at the thought of hanging out with Tony. My shorts and T-shirt aren't really a nice outfit, but it's not like it's going to stay on very long anyways. 

"Tony!" I squeal opening the door. My heart flutters and I blink rapidly a few times. "You're not Tony." I say quietly. "What do you want." I ask sharply.

"Get my flowers?" He asks raising an eyebrow. 

"Yes, that was thoughtful, thank you." I say maturely. He smiles and pushes past me. "You can't come in here! This is my home, not yours." He ignores my statement, walking into my dinning room and taking a seat at the table. 

"You even kept them." I shake my head and huff. 

"What do you want, Norman? I have company coming over." 

"You. All I want is you." He states calmly. "I know what I did to you, Danielle, I don't know how much I hurt you, but I do know that I'm sorry and I just want another try." I laugh at his words. I'm surprised I'm not crying again. 

"I know you do, Norm, but you can't just come barging into my world after being out of it for a year and a half and expect me to be waiting." He nods in agreement. 

"Give me another chance."

"Why? Why should I?" I ask crossing my arms. "I heard about all of the women, drugs, sex, all of it. I saw the pictures, Norman. I know how many women you've been with. Why should I even be talking to you right now?" 

"I don't wanna talk about all that." He says, taking a few steps forward, our faces inches apart. "I know what I did, I don't want to talk about it. Because everything I say right now is going to be used some other time, I've been through this so many damn times, you'd think I was a child."

"Were they beautiful?" I ask bluntly. 

"What?"

"The other women, were they beautiful?" 

"Yes," He says softly. "But none of them were as beautiful as you." He brings his hand up to my cheek. His thumb rubs circles under my eye. I try to pull away, but he wraps his arm around my waist. "Please," He begs. "Danielle, please, lets start over, throw everything, and I mean everything, behind us. I'll change. I'll change for you. I need you. Please, Danielle." He leans down to kiss me, but I quickly pull out of his grip. I take a few steps back and he follows. 

"I need time," I say holding up my hand, asking him to stay still. "Lots of time to think about this. About us," I swallow the lump in my throat and continue. "And, Norman, I swear to God, if you make me regret this-"

"You won't," He pauses. "I promise." 

"How many times have you promised me things?" A tear rolls down my cheek and I mentally slap myself for it. 

My attention is turned to a gorgeous blonde walking through my door, holding a bottle of wine. A smile is painted on his face, but quickly fades when his eyes meet Normans. I walk to Tony, taking the wine and setting it on the counter. The tension is absolutely horrible. 

"Nor-"

"I'll see you later Danielle," He walks over to me and kisses my forehead. "You have to crawl before you can walk, so please," He whispers and I nod quickly. 

How stupid are you? Very. You are the most idiotic person I have ever known. God, Danielle. What the fuck? What if he does it again? What if he screws up again? "I'll change for you." Fuck that shit. If he's done it once, he'll do it again..

But I love him.