Broken (Sequel to Keeping Secrets)

Chapter 11.

"Where were you?" He asks monotone, holding a bottle of whiskey in his right hand. He's drunk, I know he is. Another night arguing, just my luck.

"I got held back, George needed to talk to everyone," I lied."Something about losing money," I kick off my shoes and push them to the side. "What have you been doing?" I cautiously take a seat on the couch beside him. The sorrow filled look on his face consumes me. Maybe tonight won't be as bad.

He holds up the bottle and I nod. "I didn't mean to hit you, baby,"

"Save it, Norman," I hold up my hand. "Please don't say that you didn't mean it, because you and I both know that's a complete lie," He stands up quickly and begins to pace back and forth in front of me.

"Danielle, you know I didn't mean to," His eyes are blood shot and I can't seem to figure out if its from the whiskey or from his many nights of no sleep. "I just,I just, ugh, goddammit!"

"You just can't seem to keep your hands off of me, right? I'm just so irresistible? Is that it?" My tone becomes harsh. I know I should stop talking. I should keep my mouth shut before he does it again, but it doesn't matter if I'm in bed asleep, or talking back, I'm getting it either way. "You always said that you couldn't resist touching me. Now, I guess I know the real meaning behind that statement," I smirk. "That's okay, I couldn't keep my hands off of a couple men tonight, either,"

Shut Up, Danielle, shut up.

 His head snaps towards me and his eyes go dark. "They were gorgeous men, too, way better looking than you. And their cocks, oh god, their cocks," His hand flies up and makes contact with my cheek.

"Shut. Up." He hisses. "You're nothing but a piece of shit whore, that's what you've always been,"

"Why?" I ask, holding my burning cheek. "You can talk about other women like that, but I can't? I've never ran off on you, I've never left you here alone, for what? A week, two weeks? I've never done anything to you, Norman! I've always been the stupid one who just sits back and watches while her man goes and fucks whores, for what? I've got everything they have. I got the ass, I've got the tits, I've got the 'good pussy', I've got it all. So why? Why does it have to come to this?" He hits me again and again, punching, kicking, spitting on me. With every hit my vision becomes more blurry. 

My vision beings to go in and out, these moments flash in front of me like pictures. I zone out, letting my mind drift someone where, somewhere other than here. I open my eyes, taking in my surroundings. I'm in a hallway, pictures of a man and young boy cover most of the walls.

You remember this, Danielle, you know where this is, think. Think really hard. This is your safe place, this is where everything started. This is where nothing bad ever happened. This is where you fell in love.

This is Norman's hallway. Remember? All of the pictures of him and Mingus? This is where everything was great. This is where he loved you.

"Says the whore who works a strip club! Shaking her ass for men who don't give a fuck!" I am quickly dragged out of my safe place. My body floods with the emotions of right now.  "I'm the only one who cares, Danielle! I'm the only one who will ever care for you again! Your parents? They gave up. Jeremy? Tony? They. Don't. Care." He stumbles back and falls onto the floor. The bottle falls from his hand and rolls towards me. I take all of the energy I have and pick it up off  the floor, chugging as much as I can without getting sick. I just need this hurt to go away. The physical and emotional hurt. I just want it gone.

I scoot back and press my back against a wall. We sit across from each other for hours, it feels like. Just staring in various places, not having enough courage to stare at the other. Why do I love this man? This.. monster. What's happened to my Norman? My wonderful man who wouldn't let anything happen to me, that would love me unconditionally, who wouldn't have ever hit me, not even in his nightmares. Where is he? This man, this beautiful man whom I love so goddamn much. God, why must I love him so much? I know there's hope, there's hope for everyone. We're dancing in this room, this burning room that's just going up in flames and I'm trying and trying to stop dancing with him, but my body isn't moving out of his hold.

 nobody's gonna come and save you,
we pulled too many false alarms,

He raps his arms around my body and picks me up with one swift motion. He carries me into our bedroom and softly lays me down, pulling the covers over my body. I keep my eyes locked on anything but his. He kneels down beside the bed and presses his back against the dresser. He slowly takes off his shirt and tosses it to the side, along with his socks. I fight and I fight my urge, but my heart takes over. I slide off the bed and sit in his lap, holding his forehead to mine with both hands. He slowly places his hands on my behind and I flinch to his touch.

"I need help, Danielle,"

  I was the one you always dreamed of,
you were the one I tried to draw, 

 "I need to get clean, I need to fix myself, I need to stop drinking, I need to stop treating you like some, some, animal," I press my lips to his. I don't want to hear anymore of it. I've heard it too many times.

"Don't," I plead. His words make it harder for me to give up. "We'll get you help, Norman, I promise,"

"Why don't you call me Norm anymore? It's always Norman or just hey you," His eyes are full of hurt and guilt. I quickly look away.

  we're going down,
and you can see it too.
we're going down,
and you know that we're doomed,  

"Norm was for the man I fell in love with, Norman is the monster that's grown inside you,"

  my dear,
we're slow dancing in a burning room,