Broken (Sequel to Keeping Secrets)

Chapter 4.

"So, he just gives you flowers and then comes in? Just like that?" Tony asks, taking a sip from his glass of wine. 

"Yep," I say bluntly. 

"So, what are you going to do?" I shrug my shoulders stare blankly at my plate. I've barely touched my chicken. 

"I'm so lost," He raises an eyebrow and gives me a questioning look. 

"About what?" 

"Going back," I rub my forehead with my fingers and sigh. "I've got better things to do with my life than play his stupid ass games, I've got college to tend to, he'll only distract me from it. I don't need that right now, I'm already procrastinating on finishing my papers that are due Tuesday. But, God, I love him," I sigh. "Maybe I won't go back, I'll just stay single for the rest of my life. Maybe get a cat,"

"Or fifty," He smirks and gives me a wink. "I'm just playing with you, Danielle. You're not going to be single for the rest of your life, either. You're only seventeen. You've got so much shit to do before you start talking about marriage. Shoot, I don't even like thinking about marriage right now and I'm twenty-three. You've got plenty of time."

"You're right." I give him a smile and he nods. 

"Fuck yeah, I am!" He shouts playfully, he stands up out of his chair, walks over to my radio and turns it on. He walks back over and reaches his hand out. "Dance with me."

"What?" I giggle. 

"Come on, dance with me!" He laughs and pulls me up. "I tend to like this song a lot." He whispers, holding me close. Gravity by John Mayer played softly in the background as we spun slowly in circles. I smile to myself and I start to feel more relaxed in his embrace.

"I wish you never had to go back." I say quietly. He kisses the top of my head. 

"Me either," He whispers. "I've missed you, you know that?" I wish I could happily be with someone. I wish Norman didn't have any effect on my emotions so that I could more on. Tony has been here from the beginning, just like Jeremy. I love Tony with all of my heart, but my heart won't let me be in love with him. 

"I know, I've missed you too. When do you have to go back?" I tilt my head up and he tilts his head down. We stare at each other for a few moments until he speaks up. 

"Wednesday," He frowns. His bottom lip pokes out, covering his top lip. I hate when he looks at me like that. I want to be in love with him, I know he could give me everything that I've ever wanted. He could give me babies, he could give me love, happiness, he could give me peace, but I know that will never happen.

"Stay with me," I quickly blurt out. He stops our movements but then begins again. "Please? I know your aunt misses you, and you're here to stay with her, but-"

"Do you really want me to, or is that just the thought of being alone after I leave talking?" He frowns again. "I want to, Danielle, I really want to, but how do I know you're not going to do what you did to me last time we tried this?" The thought of that night comes back to my mind. The way he looked when I chose Norman over him, I shake the thought away. 

"Tony, you and I both know that I'm not capable of loving someone the way they should be loved." I swallow hard. "I will always choose him, no matter what happens, it will always be Norman."

"I don't mean to be rude, and if you don't want to talk about it, I understand. But, why him? Why did you choose him over me?" His breathing becomes heavy and his cheeks turn as red as the devil himself. "Was I not good enough?" 

"You were more than enough, Tony," He stops and looks at me. His facial expressions has softened. He looks so hurt, so vulnerable. The more I look at him, the more I start to feel guilty. 

"Then why?" He swallows and keeps his eyes focused on mine. 

"I, I just, you can't help who you fall in love with, and I, I loved him more than anything." He looks away and nods. 

"Do you still love him?" His face stays the same, but his eyes turn cold. I nod slightly. "Even after all the shit? He cheated on you, Danielle! You still love him? Why? What the fuck is wrong with you!" I take a step back, he's so angry. He brings his hands up and I flinch. His eyes go wide and his mouth falls agape

"I'm not going to hit you," He says softly. "I'm angry, but I would never hit a woman. Especially you." He takes a step back. "Why won't you love me?" He asks blankly. "I've asked you on so many dates, even just as a friend, but you continue to say no. Why?" He shakes his head, taking a seat on my sofa, the same sofa that holds all of our secrets. 

"I don't know." I stare at the floor. "Let's just forget about this? Okay? You only have a few days left and I don't want to waste it talking about my horrible love life. Please, stay with me for the rest of your time here?" I cautiously make my way towards him. I straddle him and place my hands on the back of his neck. "Please.." I beg. He places his hands on my bottom and pulls me closer. 

"Okay," He replies softly, his face is still red. He's still angry, but if I loved someone and they wanted nothing to do with me, I'd be angry, too. "Do you want me, Danielle?" 

"Yes, and no,"He frowns. He stands up, still holding me close. I wrap my legs around his torso and he carries me to my bed. He softly puts me down and hovers over me. 

"I want you, Danielle, I want you more than anything." He kisses my nose. "You need to tell him you don't want him. You need to tell him to leave you alone, that you don't love him anymore. Tell him that you have someone else that you can really trust, that won't ever do anything to hurt you." I give him that satisfaction he's looking for by nodding in agreement. I want to tell Norman those things, but I know deep down that I won't. Norman has done some fucked up shit, cheating on me, cheating on me with someone who was my best friend at one point. I want to forgive him, I want to start all over and try again, but I don't dare tell Tony that.

"Okay." I bring my hand up to his cheek and he smiles. 

"Good. Are you tired?" I nod. He grabs the hem of his shirt and brings it over his head. I've seen him completely naked, but I can't seem to stop staring. He's toned up and gotten tanner. "I'll go get some more clothes tomorrow." He says, undoing his belt and sliding his pants down his legs. I move under the covers and he crawls up to meet me. 

"Hey," I smile and turn on my side to face him. 

"Hey," He smiles back, bringing the cover up over our heads. 

"I'm going to miss you when you go back," He frowns and closes his eyes, pulling me into him. I tell the half truth. I will miss him, but I won't miss him the way he wants me to. 

"Don't think about that." He kisses me, this time on the lips. "Goodnight, Danielle." He mumbles. 

"Goodnight, Tony."