Broken (Sequel to Keeping Secrets)

Chapter 15.

"The worst feeling in the world is to love and hate someone all at the same time. Its hard to watch things change, when all you want from them, is to stay the same. Its crazy when you want to let go, but you keep holding on, and when you want to move on, but you're stuck right where you started. When feelings come and go and you can't decide what you want. When you have so many things to say, but you don't know where to start. When you want them in your life so bad, but all you can do is push them farther and farther away. Its hard to think back at how things used to be and look at it now and realize that things are different, and they may never be the same again. You tell yourself its not worth it, but if it didn't really matter, you wouldn't spend so much time thinking about it." -Unknown

The walls are draped with cream colored curtains. Soft music plays through the sanctuary as more family and friends join in and take there seats. 

"Are you nerves? Oh, how beautiful you look." A tear rolls down her cheek and I begin to blush. 

"Mom, don't cry! You're going to make my makeup run!" We share a giggle and she kisses my cheek. 

"I can't help it, darling. You're getting married today! How can I not shed a tear or two or fifty?" We laugh again but are soon interrupted my the calling from one of the bridesmaids. It was time to walk down the aisle. The butterflies were exploding inside of my stomach and the sudden urge to throw up came upon my body.  

I run to the bathroom, throwing the door against the the wall, making a loud thud. My lunch from yesterday was now coming up as I tried my best to keep my hair out of my face. I tried to think back to when I had my period last. My mind is empty. 

Danielle! You fucking idiot! They make protection for a reason! 

"Hey! Norman calls out from the bedroom. His feet paddle across the hard wood floor.  He grabs a hair-tie from the sink and pulls my hair into a tight pony tail. "Are you okay? Baby, what happened?" He wets a rag with cold water and hands it to me. 

"I was having this dream and I was getting butterflies and then this weird feeling to throw up and obviously, that was a real feeling," I spit a few times and flush. I start to get up but he grabs my body and carries me to the bed. "Hey, I wanted to brush my teeth," I pout. He looks scared and I know exactly why. 

"Danielle, you're not," He pauses, tugging on his hair. "You're not pregnant, are you?" 

"I don't know, I don't think so," I drop my head but he quickly places two fingers under my chin and picks it back up. 

"You don't think so?" He looks so confused. Hell, I probably look confused. 

"I.. I can't remember the last time I had my period," His eyes open real big and he shakes his head. "I've been trying to recall when the last time was, and I just can't, the memory isn't there," 

That's probably because he beats you so much.

"I'll be right back," He grabs a shirt and the keys from the dresser. 

"Where are you going?"

"To get you a few pregnancy test," The door slams and I'm left alone with my thoughts. 

Please don't be pregnant. 

*

"Did you read the instructions?" He paces back and forth in front of the bathroom door. 

"For the third time, yes. One line means no, two lines means yes. I did both tests, just to be sure," He takes a deep breath and nods his head. He's asked me every minute what it says, he's worried, I get it. The alarm goes off, telling us that its been ten minutes. The box says three to five minutes, but Norman insisted.