Story Of My Life

Page 12 Being Controlled and Anti Social Media Technology

12

2012 20 here another part of me that i felt like i feel been controlled by a toy even if she want the best of me… there 2 side of the story one that hide me in a bubble where there no place that one one can’t hurt me and where i got a my eyes blind of the reality outside where she want it to do it in her time and now and get mad if i never do it right now and makes me this perfect doll where even if i have mistake i never fix it because i still leave in her protective bubble where i can’t break free and go anywhere or any place outside and the other side where this one never hug me or give some love only strict discipline a place where i never learn about love or hugs or how to be social a person that scream you and want to take you force to their places and if you don’t go they make your life impossible and try to ruin everyone you love around in your circle to make sure you also be perfect and never be someone that don’t disrespect the rules that they want you to follow not what you heart telling you to do even if is the right or run thing. just like a girl with a remote control controlling your life to always win and never lose….

If I break the glass them I'll have to fly there's no one to catch me if I take a dive...

Between mom and grandma both turn me into her marionette in her own way one in a bubble and other in a rusk but both have one in common and is controlling me.

Sometimes i wish someone help or i can help myself but in the end i have no escape to go just like a traps.

Maybe one day i can cut the thread and be free and be totally me.

Why anti social media not that social media is bad is that is you need to know how to use it for good or bad and i choose both my web life start with myspace a day that something get really popular all your friends have it and you need to be in like them just like today Facebook,twitter,Instagram,tumblr,musically,karaoke smule,vine,YouTube,snapchat and is goes on and on there a lot popular apps other there that for some reasons someone tell you about it or find it on the web that everyone is using it and you open the door and is never stop because you get out of one and enter on another one to get update on all the website is additive too i end deleting snapchat and twitter for personal reason not is that not bad just like is to much for me all the depend the reasons you use it work,job,business,get update on someone else life or curse and bullied others not me maybe discuss a topic too but here where i enter in the bad side of the internet even if a enter again today and i want to get out games Audition, Toontown,website with scary and haunted games like a a lot,also games for 18+ website that exist trust me you don’t wanna know what there even videos of anime and yaoi all that stuff recommended by people outside or online because you don’t know it until someone tell you nothing comes until someone say it but there one game i cross the line name IMVU a game where you create avatar and online with real people also i remember something for adult name AP i tell you later about that one i create a lot avatar 3 boys and 3 girls on the game i was in group and different rooms until one day with one of my avatar they gift me the AP means they can get undress and do adult stuff on the game just like real life one guy gift it to me in my girl avatar also in the game i play the love game and cheating game and go more far with messenger trying to mess with that person then i say i was joking and i am a male on real live and go on cam like he ask me then he expose the video on YouTube and tell i like boys lying on the web i was so frustrated that i say to that person i left the game and gift all my 6 avatar if you delete that video 1 week trying until he delete it and i end gifting the avatar to one of his friends with the AP and the other 6 and gift it to random people i know in the game i know they will take good care and i left after that lesson i learned i never enter again in a online game about love and real life except sims that you don’t have to connect with real people.

I try singing karaoke app,Musically,YouTube and others app dancing even if they end reporting my video a lot on YouTube i try to be someone and try to be famous but in the end i learn is was not for me and give up because i learn that life was not for me that why i delete twitter and snapchat because i feel social media is killing me inside the way i escape from reality and real life where i turn my life social to anti social a anti social media life that sometimes i wish say i want my life back not that i want my likes back when you enter the door is hard to get out because something always come new and you always going to be curious to be part of it and be where everyone else is that part of technology life something that makes your life easier for good or bad or that can change your life or ruin it forever.

I talk about Games and Social Media but not about music not that i don’t like music just that i have a lot that i delete it all of them even is it hurt for good and now i start to listen to Christians songs because i felt all others type of music Latino,English,Romanian,K-pop,Others because i listen to different language and i know it all you get to a point that when i have my headphone on is not me is the music like a mind control where i change completely into someone else like a enter in another world where i feel confident,powerful,ready to let none stop me and walk with swag and do stuff and poses like a was in a music video or feel in movie i just feel in my opinion that is time to change i not telling you to stop listening to music just listen the one with the right message and positive and clean vibe that the only advice i can say because music can have the power to make you do a lot of thing even if you don’t believe it.

Photographic more like selfies or pics is the next topics because there something even dark in the web that none one told you until  someone get out the truth that part of life.

but just when i thought thing going to get better i end being the worst..