The Wonderful Tales of "Straight" Scott

it's fine, it'll grow back

I brush the strands of hair off the sink, trying to get most of them into the trash. Whatever leftover hairs that remain I wash down the drain. I look into the mirror in disbelief, feeling a panic rise through my chest. I quickly turn on the faucet, washing my face so I can make sure that my eyes aren't just blurred.

"Jesus, fuck," I say aloud at the person staring back at me. I hesitantly reach towards my scalp, realizing what I had done. I had never had such an intense mental breakdown, at least not since my sister got kicked out. Maybe I'll get used to it? It's kind of badass to be honest.

"A buzz cut?!" I hear my mother squeal in disbelief. She immediately comes up to me and runs her hands over my almost completely bald scalp.

"Honey, why did you do this?" I think about the question for a moment and, honestly, I don't know why. I tried to search through my brain to find an answer, but it's not there. Your hair felt like a weight, making your headaches even worse . . . You recently had a fight with your friend and thought a change might do some good . . . you thought, hey, im sick of hiding . . . the hair in my face is getting pretty annoying . . . hey, I'm over this emo phase . . . hey, I just had a mental breakdown because the one person I trusted the most went behind my back and now I'm losing my fucking mind.

I shrug my shoulders in response. I look completely insane, don't I?

"Honey! Is breakfast ready?" I here me dad roar from downstairs. My mom clutches her fist in frustration, gritting her teeth before she says "Almost, honey!" In the fakest chipper voice I've heard all my life.

"Scott, you need to wear a hat, grab one from your room and come downstairs, and you're wearing it to school too," she rushes her words before racing down the stairs to make eggs and bacon for my brat of a father.

I stomp to my room, grabbing a black knitted beanie. I put it on, feeling how weird it is against my freshly-shaven scalp. I grab my backpack and run downstairs, before racing out the door, trying not to get noticed. Any other day my mom would have called for me, saying something like "Don't leave without breakfast, it's the most important meal of the day!" and other things a mother would say. But today she didn't. So when I sped out the door, I hesitated once I reached the end of the driveway, because I expected to hear her voice calling, but I didn't. I was relieved that I didn't have to go back, but it kinda felt... weird. For some reason my stomach turned and I felt so confused, like a habit just earased itself suddenly, or as if I forgot to put my pants on. I felt out of place. Then it hit me. The reason she hadn't called for me-it made my stomach hurt even more-She was embarrassed of me. I felt like breaking down in the middle of the sidewalk right there. But I didn't. I pulled out a cigarette and began walking towards the school.

I skipped my first class, because I'm just not prepared for anyone to see me yet, and I almost got to the next class, but I just couldn't do it, okay? I just stood outside, smoking cigarette after cigarette. I gave one to this girl named Charlotte who had randomly approached me after walking out of the building. She had short brown hair put up into a bun, with bangs straight bangs that almost completely covered her olive eyes, and her clothes looked like she made them herself. Without me asking, she talked about how much she thinks this world is fucked up and that everyone should just be able to be who they are, which I found quite interesting, and, in a sense, relatable. Then she began talking about how big space is, which kinda fucked me up, because that's scary, y'know? When she finished her cigarette, she thanked me and went off walking in a different direction from the school. She looked to be about my age, maybe younger, but I don't think I had ever seen her before.

Inspired by her rants, I picked up the courage to walk into school. It was a good time to do so, considering it being the lunch period. I walked through the doors and didn't notice many people looking at me. With this hat on, I think I looked fairly normal.