The Wonderful Tales of "Straight" Scott

It's all right dude

Its been a week since the game. Since the crippling image of Alex in Sean's tight grasp as he connects their mouths had appeared. I thought he loved me,  but the complete, utter passion he presented seemed to real. How pathetic, thinking that anyone could ever love me. This has to be a joke, a devilish prank. Toying with emotions is funny, ha ha. And how brilliant that they went after one of the easiest victims. All I know is that I can't see Sean anymore. The sight of him only reminds me of Alex, and her gross, peppermint-beer breath.

I try to take a bite of the fruit and grain bar I packed in my untouched lunch, but begin to gag the moment it touches my taste buds. I already had problems with eating, but it's gotten worse since the event. I sigh in annoyance, knowing that if I don't eat something I'm gonna end up getting really sick again and I'm too stressed to deal with anything like that right now. I shove the bar back in the bag, clenching my teeth because its been a rough week, I must say. With my dad on my back for football, thinking I actually like that terrible game, and my brothers (both younger) talking about Sean-Jona because he's trying to make me admit that I'm gay (which I am not), and Logan because he loves football more than the average person and I just so happen to be "friends" with the quarterback. Along with the fact that Sean was sucking on Alex's face, but that on you already know.

I stand from my seat, frustrated that I can't function at all. I can't Eat, I can't sleep, I can't get up in the morning, I can't walk without feeling really dizzy and nauseous, I can't even think straight when all I can think about is Sean in her disgustingly perfect embrace.

"Scott!" I hear a booming voice coming from behind me, making me jump. Shit. I don't even need to look back to know that it's Sean. I pick up my pace, forcing my feet to move faster to CLASS.

"Scott! Slow down!" I hear him knock into someone, quickly apologizing. I doubt that he has trouble catching up with me, because he's, you know, the fucking quarterback.

"Scott! What the fuck!?" He grabs my arm and twists me around, I noticed some people staring at his outburst, staring in my direction, which I am not too fond of. I try to make Sean notice. but he seems to be too interested in what I'm about to say. I should walk away, that's the best reaction, and hopefully it will get us some place more private. I begin to turn around, only to be stopped my Sean's monstrous hand. 

"Scott, talk to me," he sighs, I can think of so many good comebacks, I could make a huge scene, right here, right now.

"Please," I squeak. Well, that's not what I had in mind...

"What?" God, why is this so hard?

"Please, just... come with me," I turn around, this time he follows close behind instead of trying to stop me. I lead him into an empty hallway, finding that it seems familiar.

"Scott I-" he tries to explain before I cut him off.

"Stop, can you just... Stop?" I say, frustratedly using my hands to get my point across, and trying to urge myself not to cry. "I saw you... with Alex... at the game," his eyes widen and he runs his hand through his hair, groaning out of frustration.

"Fuck, Scott, I'm sorry you saw that, but it's not my fault," he explains. "Look, I was there, she was there, my parents were there. She just kind of grabbed me and..." He continues to explain, but I can't really hear him cause' all I hear is my heartbeat filling up my brain. I hang my head down, clenching my teeth so I don't cry.

"Okay," I notice my fist were balled up tightly, as I loosen up, feeling the pain suddenly easing into my realization.

"What?" he must notice that I'm not as dramatic as I usually am. 

"It's fine" I look up, giving him a displayed smile. It seems that I've gotten better at making facial expressions that don't preset the way I feel. It's become almost a habit. And this time seems all the more genuine.

"Oh... great!" he seems relived. Then smiles, patting me on the back. "See you after class?" he's already walking away, as if he seems rushed.

"Great! See you then... buckaroo- I mean, um... bye," I trail off, I doubt he's even listening, but, I say it anyways. It's fine, he can like whoever he likes. I don't even like him anyways, so it really doesn't matter. I'm not even gay, so why would I like him? I don't want him. As my boyfriend, partner, lover, whatever. I don't want it. 

Because I'm done letting people into my life. And I'm done trusting him, or anyone for that matter.

I'm done.