Warrior

Bad Day

"Woah, hey Maddie what's wrong!?" Octavia asks, shooting up out of bed once I did.

"I-I..need air" I shakily tell her. My body was covered in sweat and I was trembling. I hated these nights and it was all due to my father.

I took off my covers and pushed my dark brown hair out of my face. Before I had the chance to stand up, Octavia grabbed my arm.

"What was it about?" She asks me with concerned eyes. I didn't know what to say. I knew Octavia, I knew I could trust her but there was something stopping me from telling her what was happening. I couldn't explain it. I felt like if I did tell her that I would be exposed, that she would know every rough part about my childhood. Not only that, but all of my memories I was trying to forget, would all cave down on me and I would never be able to escape them.

"I don't know, probably something silly" I lie as my trembling legs lift me up and I start walking outside. I hear her get up also and follow me. We just stand there, both standing outside of her tent.

"You sure you don't want to talk about it?" She asks turning towards me. "The sound of that scream didn't sound silly, it sounded traumatized."

"I-I can't n-not now" I tell her as I feel tears building up in my eyes. At least the darkness covered that up.

"Alright, it's okay." She could sense from my voice that something was most definetly not okay though. "But whenever you want to come talk to me, I'm always here. Don't ever feel like you can't alright?" She asks with both hands on my shoulders.

"Thanks" I say quietly as I engulf her in a hug.

"Oh my gosh Maddie your burning up" Octavia says as she feels the sweat on my t-shirt and moves her hand to my forehead.

**

The sun was now coming up and people in camp were starting to come out of their tents. Octavia had a cold rag pressed to my head until she was able to get Clarke. At first we were thinking it was just from the nightmare, but the high temperature wouldn't come down and my eyes started burning when I tried to go back to sleep.

"Octavia I'm fine really it's just a fever" I tell her as I don't want to make a big deal out of anything. I've had lots of these in the past and I always got over them quickly like any kid would.

"Still, we need Clarke to look at you. Stay here I'm gonna see if she's up" She tells me, leaving the damp rag over my forehead which didn't help anything. I got up anyway and changed my t-shirt because I felt nasty from all that sweat. I put on another one lying in a pile in the corner of the room. Then I tied my tangled hair up into a ponytail and looked around for a piece of metal. I used a broken piece I found to see my reflection like a mirror. Perfect. My blue eyes looked bloodshot since I was up most of the night.

"Alright Clarke is up-" Octavia was saying to the empty blankets until she noticed I was not there. She turned her head to me just standing there smiling innocently.

"You said stay here, not in bed." I say shrugging it off as I tiredly walk past her.

She just rolls her eyes and puts her hand on my back, guiding me out of the tent.

We go over to the dropship where Clarke is waiting for me.

"Lets get you checked out yeah?" She says as we go into the dropship together.

"Yeahhh" I reply frustrated about this whole situation. She sat me down on a metal table and felt my forhead.

"Feels fine to me" Clarke says looking back at Octavia who now looks confused.

"What did I tell you, it was nothing!" I tell her, feeling proud of myself for being right.

"This doesn't make sense a fever doesn't just go away like that" Octavia states as she steps towards me and feels my forehead.

"If one more person touches my forehead imma hurt them" I threaten as I'm shut up by Octavia as she shushes me, rude. Then I hear a loud moan from the top of the dropship which frightens me.

"Jasper" Clarke says reassuring me. I just nod and feel even worse that we were caring about me and my stupid little shift in temperature, than worrying about Jasper who sounded like he was dying.

"Octavia I'm fine really" I tell her as she removes her hand and seems convinced.

"I guess so" She says seeming on edge about this sudden change.

"Great thanks Clarke, bye!" I exclaim hopping off of that uncomfortable table just as I'm pulled back by the arm. What else is new?

"Not so fast, let me see how your legs doing." She says as she lifts me back onto the table and rolls up my pant leg, revealing my scars all over again.

"What are all of these?" She asks running a finger over all of my scars as the curtain to the dropship opens with Bellamy walking through it eating an apple. Wow great timing.

"Just scrapes from rocks, can I go now?" I ask impatiently as Clarke looks unconvinced.

"Maddie be quiet and let her check your leg" Bellamy tells me as he stands next to Octavia, arms crossed. I just roll my eyes and tap my fingers on the metal table.

"These aren't scrapes, scrapes scab...these are scars." She states figuring it out.

"Jasper is more important than this, Clarke please?" I ask with pleading eyes.

She ignores me and rolls up my pants more to the wound that was still recovering. It wasn't bleeding anymore but still was completely cut open. I wince at the sight of this and look at Clarke's head hoping she wasn't going to bring out the alcohol.

"Octavia can you bring me the alcohol, it's upstairs with Jasper." She asks as I slap my hand to my forehead. I knew it, I just knew it.

"Can we not use the alcohol again?" I ask with a desperate begging face.

"Maddie-"

"Yeah yeah it will get infected" I finished for her remembering what Bellamy told me. I bury my face in my hands. I hear Octavia come back down the ladder and that's when my body starts shaking and my chest feels heavy. I feel as if my chest is being suffocated. I start tearing up and crying silently to myself.

"She's having a panic attack" Clark says trying to calm me down by rubbing my back which doesn't help at all. Then I feel my hand taken away from my face and put into a much bigger hand.

"Maddie, hey" I hear Bellamy say. "Breathe it's gonna be okay, just hold my hand." He tells me wiping tears away from my face. I grip his hand tightly and then I see him nod at Clarke.

That's when I feel that same burn run through my wound, sizzling up to the surface. I squeeze Bellamy's hand as hard as I can and focus on my breathing.

"It's alright, it's over" Octavia tells me as she puts a strand of hair that fell out of my ponytail behind my ear. Then Clarke grabs a roll of a white bandage and ties it around my leg.

"Your all done" Clarke says putting her hand on my shoulder and then leaves to check on Jasper I assume.

"Damn you've got a strong grip" Bellamy says chuckling as I release my hand from his and smile.

That's one thing I inherited from my father I suppose.