Secret Love Song - Harry Styles Series

Broken Hearts - Part 34

"I'm breaking up with you," you whispered.

Harry felt his heart drop to his stomach as soon as those words left your mouth. Tears were on the verge of forming in his eyes as he felt hurt, confused, and angry.

"What do- what do you mean you're breaking up with me?" He asked.

You sighed looking down. "I mean, I can't be your girlfriend anymore," you said.

"But why? What did I do?" His voice cracked on the last word. "Is it because I was gone? Because of my job in the industry? Please, tell me... I'll fix it..."

"I wish it was you," you whispered. "But it's not... it's me. It's not fair to you to be with me."

"What? Why?" He asked. "Did something... did something happen while I was gone?"

"No," you said. "I just realized that you deserve to be with someone who can give you everything you might ever want... I can't promise to ever be that person..."

"Wait..." he said pushing himself off the couch.

He paced around the tiny living room for a moment while running his hands over his face. "Is this... is all of this because you might not be able to have children of your own one day? Is that what you're meaning by giving everything?"

You simply nodded your head.

"I can't... I can't believe..." he said.

"I'm sorry, I just think it's best for me to let you go now instead of staying together and then one day regretting being with me..." you stated.

"And I just don't get a say about any of it? I don't get to decide if I want to stay and be with you?" He asked angrily. "You just made this decision and expect me to go along with me? You keep saying it's best for me, but yet shouldn't I be the one to decide that?"

"I know you!" You said. "You won't walk away from this just because I can't have kids, especially since you don't want anytime soon, but I know that one day when you're ready, you're going to regret not being with someone who can have a child for you."

Harry shook his head. "There are other ways to have children Y/N," he said. "Even the doctor said you had options to try and if those don't work, there's always adoption."

"I know there's adoption, but I know you want at least one child of your own... a child with your DNA, your flesh, and blood," you said.

"Damn it, Y/N!" He shouted. "Stop fucking saying you know me because right fucking now it appears that you don't!"

"I know you better than you think I do," you said.

"Really? Because if you did, if you truly fucking did, you'd know that this isn't something I'd want. I'd never regret spending my life with you, ever. Yes, I want kids and a family of my own one day, but I only want that with the woman I love whole-heartedly and who loves me back. I'd never just settle for someone because they can bear me children of my own. And if I'm not with you, settling is exactly what I'd be doing and I'd live with regret over not being with you than being with you..." he snapped.

Tears were streaming down his face and onto his shirt at this point. You had never seen him so emotional before. He was beyond angry which produced even more tears than just the ones from the part of him that felt hurt and heartbroken.

"I...I don't know what you want me to say," you whispered, instantly regretting saying those words as soon as they left your lips.

"Well, it's obvious that you've already made your decision and if you can live without regret for not being with me, then I guess you don't really love me as much as... as much as I love you," he sniffled.

Before you could say anything or even stop him, Harry picked up his bag and headed out the door.

**

Harry walked out of your apartment building and sat down on the concrete sidewalk. He should call for a driver or someone to pick him up, but all he could do was sit there and cry. He was exhausted from the flight and extreme jet lag, which didn't help matters at all. He never thought you'd break up with him over that. He looked back on all of your conversations and tried to think if there was ever a time he may have given off the impression that this was something he might want or consider.

He couldn't think of a single time or thing, which made him feel only a little bit better. After about ten minutes of letting the tears stream down his face, he ran his shirt over his face to wipe away the tears. He grabbed his phone from his back pocket and of course, you were his lock screen. He bit his lip to hold back the sobs that were threatening to leave again before he called the one person he needed now more than ever.

**

When Harry walked out of the door, you dropped to your knees as the realization of what you just did. You thought you were doing something for Harry, looking out for him, making sure he lived a life of happiness, but all you did was break his heart and your own. However, the thing that hurt you worse was knowing he thought you didn't love him.

You willed your body to get up and leave to go to him, to tell him you take it back, to tell him you did love him, more than anything, but no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't move. Eventually, you were able to at least grab your phone. You tried calling Harry, but it went straight to voicemail. You sighed, not exactly shocked he didn't answer, but the small bit of hope you had was gone. You then decided you'd call Jess.

"Hello?" She answered on the third ring.

"Jess... I'm sorry to bother you... but uh... if you're not busy could come over... Harry and I... we just broke up," you cried.

"Oh, honey, I'm on my way," she said quickly.

"Are you sure?" you sniffled.

"Yes," she said. "I'll be over in ten."

You nodded even though she couldn't see you before hanging up the phone. You pulled yourself onto the couch and hugged one of the pillows as you let the tears fall down your cheeks once more.