all the stars | sonny carisi svu

chapter twelve

i woke up to monitors beeping and chattering in the halls.

my eyes open as i stared at a ceiling, that wasn't in my old apartment. it took me a moment to process where i was.

i felt a hand on mine as i look over to see sonny sitting there.

his eyes were focused on the wall on the other side of the room. i moved my hand slightly as his attention shot right to me.

"hey." i say to him as he smiles.

"hey there." he replied. "how are you feeling?"

"exhausted and sore."

he nods. "you need anything?"

"water, please."

he got up to pour the water into a cup.

"your family was here a few minutes ago. i just sent them to get some coffee and food. we've been here all night." he says. "the squad is in the waiting room with a couple of the precincts and tucker from internal affairs."

"you stayed all night?" i ask him, ignoring everything else he said. "with my family?"

"i promised you i wouldn't leave, remember?"

i smile, slowly sitting up.

"thank you."

he smiled back, handing me the cup as i sipped it.

"anything for you el."

"you wanna tell me what's broken and what's not?"

"i think i should leave that up to your family and the doc."

"sonny," i say. "just tell me."

"well for starters,  you got a shiner." he says, referencing the black eye. "you have a third degree concussion, they said you were lucky you didn't have any brain bleeds."

"that explains the headache." i say. "my ribs?"

"they're cracked." he replies. "you had internal bleeding in your belly, so they had to get that out and stop the bleeding. he fractured your wrist too."

"what did i test positive for?"

he sighed. "clonazepam, ecstasy, among other things."

"i'm lucky i'm not dead."

"thank god." he replied. "i'm gonna kill him."

"sonny."

"you shouldn't have gone through that."

"i know."

"as far as the drugs, the department will clear that your fit for duty when the time comes. your x-rays and everything will prove his motive of abuse toward you."

"i know. i'm not worried about that." i say, with tears in my eyes. "he fucking tortured me with the drugs for three days."

i sighed.

"that's why i kept asking if it was you when you found me. i thought i was hallucinating." i continue as he wiped the tears that fell from my cheeks. "everytime i would hallucinate, i would see you. he made me believe i was seeing you."

"he knew about me?"

"he told me he'd been staking us out for about a week, right before he took a shot at me. he claimed he was hoping i'd realize it was him."

"jesus." sonny replies, worry filling his face.

he then continued. "listen, you don't have to tell me if he did or not, we can wait for the sarge but,"

i knew what he was asking before the question came out of his mouth as i shook my head.

"no." i replied. "he tried though."

"what?"

"it all went down few minutes before you guys came." i explain. "he made the mistake of letting me free of my restraints. i don't know where i found the strength, but there was a struggle for the gun in the middle of his attempt. i managed to push him into the wall when i grabbed the gun. next thing i knew i saw you."

"you did good partner." he says. "i'm sorry we couldn't find you sooner. we did everything, i did everything,"

"sonny, i know." i say. "i knew you and the squad would find me."

"speaking of finding things." he says before pulling my necklace from his pocket.

"you found it?"

"i did." he smiles. "i've been holding onto it for you."

"hold onto it till i get out of here."

"will do."

he slips the necklace back into his pocket as we both look into each other's eyes.

"i hate that he hurt you."

"i know."

"i can't tell you how happy i am to see you alive el. don't know what i would've done if we didn't find you."

"sonny, i,"

"ella!" i heard my mother's voice as she ran into the room.

"hi mom." i say as she embraces me.

"oh my sweet girl." she cries.

before i knew it, the whole family was in the room.

"i'll be back in a bit." sonny promises, before he stepped out.