It Was Always You

Chapter 21: Hurting

I woke up the next day groggy, and with a headache. The past events seemed to endlessly pound against my head, in discomfort. I got up to take a shower, as if to let my problems wash away. When I was done, I looked in the mirror to see the marks left on my body from Sunggyu, as well as my tired and puffy eyes. I shook my head and began to get ready.

To be fairly honest, I didn't know what to do when I saw Aaron again. I suppose I could pretend it didn't happen? No...that might just make things worse. But..It's my only option for right now. After getting ready, I pecked a sleeping Sunggyu a quick goodbye, and whispered yet another apology. Head up (Y/N), everything will be okay.

I slipped out of the apartment and headed to work. l was still a wreck from the other day, but I have to push it down and deal with it. What will I say to them? Did he already say something to them? Oh god, I think I'm going to have a panic attack! The thoughts were becoming overwhelming, and my heart started to beat at a rapid pace, as my breathing went ragged.

Just as l arrived at work, l pulled into my parking spot and slammed the brakes to stop. l immediately started hyperventilating grasping for the gear to try to put the car in park. My car soon rolled and hit the divider. l jumped and sucked in a sharp breath right as my tears began to fall. l quickly unbuckled and brought my knees close to my chest and sobbed. After what seemed like eternity, l finally allowed myself to calm down and got out of my car. l composed myself as best l could and headed in. l fastly walked past Aera, giving the aura of "please, please don't ask...at least not today," I quickly looked down as we stood silently in the elevator.

God I hate myself. If I can't even face her how will I face the guys. I sighed loudly and turned to Aera before we got to our floor.

"Mianhaeyo, Aera-ah. I don't mean to be in a bad mood, I'll tell you about it when things get better, arasseo?" I pleaded with my friend.

"Ara," she sighed, "Just don't bottle it up, and please be okay..."

"I will, gomawo," I hugged her tight.

The elevator door dinged open, and I waved her goodbye. I headed straight for the boys' studio. I knocked and no one answered. I guess no one's in yet. I walked in to the studio and went straight to work. With any luck I'll be done before they even come in... I worked on their beat for about an hour, and they still weren't there. Maybe..? I shook my head, He wouldn't would he?

Right as I was about to finish up, the door creaked open. My heart stopped for a minute, and I could already feel tears prick my eyes. When the door fully opened, it revealed the boys...and Aaron. I hastily got up and started to wipe at my eyes. I grabbed my things and made my way towards the door.

"I, uh, finished the beats so you guys should be all set. Make sure to practice!" I made my way out of the room,

I caught my brother's eyes, and they widened as he saw the few tears that managed to escape. He looked to the ground wishing he could do something, this feeling of dread filled him. But as soon as he saw the guilty look on Aaron's face, anger took over instead.

"What did you do?!" Ren yelled.

Ren gave Aaron a dark glare before chasing after me. When he finally caught up, he grabbed a hold of my arm and stopped me. He spun me into his arms and just hugged me tight, as I let out quiet sobs into his chest. Why am I always crying?

"I should be stronger than this...what happened to me Ren?"I managed to breathe out.

"Hey, it's okay, everything will be okay I-"

I cut him off with trembling words, "Will it though? I don't know what to do Ren, I'm scared."

"I'm here, remember that noona. I may be the youngest but I will protect you."

I slowly let move away from him and turn away, "How can you protect me from myself? I'm so confused Ren, I don't know who I love anymore, or who to trust. My heart is so split that I think I might break more than I already have."

Ren stood silent not quite knowing what to say, all he did was wrap his arms around my body and hold me close. It was a great comfort, more than Sunggyu could ever provide.

"Ren..." I hesitantly started, "Aaron...he...he kissed me last night."

Ren's grip on me tightened, but not in anger like Sunggyu, but in warmth and understanding.

"It's okay noona, we'll get through this. For now I'll try to keep Aaron hyeong away from you, and give you some space. As for Sunggyu hyeong, I think you should tell him about your confusion. Hyeong is an understanding guy."

"I don't know anymore Ren....Gyu he...he's started to become more aggressive and I think it's because of Aaron."

Ren sighed, "Still...tell him, it will only be worse if he finds out later."

It was my turn to sigh, "You're right, gomawo. We should get back to work, we've been standing like this for too long."

"Ara, just call me if you need me, pd-nim will understand if I need to step out."

I hummed as he let go off me, and we parted ways. After that, work went by like it usually does, but I felt like something was going to happen, something bad. It made me anxious as I worked, which made me a little slow and out of it.

It wasn't until around 2 a.m. that I finally finished everything that was assigned to me. I headed home, still expecting something bad to happen. But nothing came. That is until I arrived home. When I arrived at my apartment I noticed a car parked in the vistors' parking lot that I didn't recognize. I shrugged it off, thinking it was nothing. I walked to the door of my apartment and stopped when I heard yelling inside my apartment between the two people who were tearing apart my heart.