Promises--Hemmings

Chapter ten// This is me

It was a Tuesday night and mom was with Max at his basketball game, Luke was hanging with some of his buddies that night so I was left to fend for myself that night.

Promise laid, sprawled on my bed. I have had her for maybe a bit over a month and he has grown only a bit. I've done some research and found out that labs will grow into pretty large dogs. They are family dogs who hate being left out. Labs I had been told by the sales woman at pet smart, needed their exercise. Taking them to the lake for a swim or letting them run at the dog park were great ways for them to let go if their excited energy.

If they are kept inside for too long they will drive you nuts and things will get bad. 

That little puppy could be like me. 

I ball up all my feelings and emotions then suddenly I blow up and freak out. So far it hasn't gotten as far as not eating. 

****

Latter that week, as it started to rain, my life fast forwarded. 

"So slut, I are you the one thats been hanging around our buddy Luke?" The voice was loud and like daggers in my chest as I heard them. 

I turned around to see three scary guys staring at me. 

"Ya! Its her alright." A dark haired guy said, Asian maybe? 

"Is there a problem?" I asked, my pepper spay in hand behind my back. 

"Oh yeah there is. See the problem is, you should stay away from Luke." A guy with white hair tipped with electric blue nodded his head as he spoke.

"Wh- what do you mean?" 

"We mean, stay the hell away from him of things will get ugly!" Snapped a brunet whose hair was swept across his forehead. 

"Essay Cal, princess here may use that pepper spray on us." Electric blue tipped guy chuckled.

"Just tell me whats this about. Please?" I begged.

"Go on tell her Mike." The Asian? one spoke up once again. 

"Well..." The guy, Mike began.

"You see, Luke doesn't really like you... No In fact he only likes your pants. He really hates your freaking guts." 

"No thats not true! He cares about me!" I exclaimed. 

"He only cares about what you can do." Callum snapped again at me. 

Thats when it snapped. 

"No. Your wrong!" I yelled running off home. 

****

I was home alone once again as I got home. My mind was racing and my heart, beating fast as I walked into the bathroom. 

I began to feel light headed and my knees wobbled with fright and worry. 

"He only cares about what you can do." 

"He doesn't like you." 

"Hates your freaking guts." 

The things they said raced through me. 

Its not true, I told myself. 

He cares. He has to.

My legs finally gave out beneath me and I collapsed, hitting the hard, cool tile of the bathroom. 

I laid there, weeping for what seemed like hours. 

I stood up, tears still in my eyes, walked towards the kitchen. 

Promise was at her check up with mom, Max was still at school. 

What if mom came in to find me bleeding to death on the kitchen floor, a knife plunged into me, not breathing. 

I started to cry heavier and heavier as I stood up to the bathroom, I grabbed my bottle of pills and opened the container. I pored them over the trashcan and watched them fall, one by one. 

When I was done I tossed the empty bottle into the trashcan. I tied it up and took it outside, tossing it. 

I crawled into my bed, pulled the covers over me and cried my sled to sleep, saying it over and over again, "Its not true." 

This was me. I was this mess. I was no hot mess, I was just messed up and crazy inside and I was trying so hard to not let it go this far but it was. This was me, sataying up late at night thinking of all the ways my life could have gone. How happy I could be and how many people I would make happy by not being here right. This was me, watching depressing movies to pity soemthing other than myself and my feelings. This was me, wishing I was diffrent like all those girls in the movies and books and songs. This was me and I have to live with me.

A/N 

Hey! Sorry for the sad chapters! But you have to understand she has bi polar and it makes her go from happy to sad in seconds. She also has depression which makes Shelby hurt even more! 

Im sorry if the chapters are sucky but don't worry I have some gooey stuff coming for ya!!

Also OMG big news! Okay soooo...umm....Im going to make fan fics of each of the guys here soon!

The books will be,

Summer a Michale fan fic 

Romeo and Juliet a Ashton fan fic 

Barbie a Callum fan fic

So be on the look out!!! Probaly wont be untill Never Land and or Promiese is over!

P.S I know Callum isn't Asian! 

Peace, Im out!

X