Promises--Hemmings

chapter thirty-one

I was doing okay. It had been a few weeks since I was beaten, for the second time. I kept going to school but Luke switched his classes so we had every call together. He would take my arm gently when we left and be my personal body guard. We got picked on so bad, not just me, Luke too this time. And Michael, Calum and Ashton and all the girls. If you hung out with me, you were automatically a diseases too.  

My whole girl’s gym class was in trouble, it was a group fight and I did have to go to the hospital so they have dentition on two Saturdays and Maya and her two little friends got suspended and it will be on their personal record. Most of my time is spent with my mom, max, and Luke or Luke and his family. I’ve grown so close with Luke's family and they have helped me a whole lot whenever my mom can't. We often have dinner together, all of us. It’s not awkward, for us that is. Eating with one another is fine. Luke's mom and my mom get along and talk and then Luke's brothers usually bring along their girlfriends so it’s cool. Max, being Max and being complete cute, gets along with everyone.

It’s nice, to spend every Sunday night with them. The funny thing I was thinking about is the fact that Luke and I could last a long time, I mean were both graduating this year so who knows, in a few years or so Luke and I could be married. It’s odd, I know.

But a thought keeps haunting me. Whenever I think about it I feel all dark and cold and I shiver and I find it hard to breath. The thought that Luke and I could break up or worse, become strangers, strangers with memories. I hate this feeling because Luke and I have been through so much stuff already that losing him in any way would kill me.

But another thought is that I’m holding him back from his full potential. He can do so much with his life and I don't want to be reason he chooses a community collage or no collage at all. If he has to give up a scholarship or anything like that because of me I don't know if I'd be able to take it. I love him so much and I care about him a lot, leaving him would be the hardest decision I'd ever make but if it meant him doing something with his life and being happy, then so be it.

These thoughts had been haunting me day in and day out for several months now but suddenly when an email came for Luke from a few different collages, I kind of woke up and realized what I had to do. It was going to kill me, but I had to do it.

I dialed his number. He picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, how’s my girl?"

"Luke.."

"Hey Shel, baby what’s wrong?"

"Are you busy?"

"Um no why? Do I need to come over? What’s wrong?"

"We need to talk...."

"Shel baby what’s going on?"

"Can you please just come over....?”

"Sure, of course baby. I'll be over in 15 minutes."

"Okay thanks."

"Love you, see you soon."

I hung up. I didn't say it back. I went into the bathroom looked myself in the mirror and asked myself if I was making the right choice. Voices clouded my head and drove me insane. My head was pounding and I was breathing hard. I had no idea what was going on or why I wanted to do this so bad, but I did. I mean I just want him to be happy and I don't know how he could be. How could he love a girl like me?

"Shelby?"

I walked into the living room and Luke walked over to me, not bothering to take his shoes off. He wrapped him arms around me, pulling me into a hug.

I flinched.

"Shel... what’s going on? Are you okay?" 

I took a large and shaky breath and walked away from him.