Promises--Hemmings

chapter fifteen//mirror

A/N

Hey! Okay so I hope this is a good chapter, if not sorry!!

Peace, I'm out!

X

Luke's POV

"Luke?"

"Yes?"

"Its Shelby. Shes at the hospital."

The doors opend for me as I shot in. I saw Shelby's Mom sitting still, with Max by her side, playing with some toys of some sort. Her mom looked up and saw me walking to her. "What happend?" I asked. "I found her in her bed, I thought she was asleep but....she...the pills they, they were open and most the bottle was empty."

I understood what she was saying. And I hated that thought that she was going to do this. She was going with the plan and if she would have not been found any sonner she would be gone and the thought of loosing her would rip me apart.

I would be the Luke I am trying to fun away from. I wanted to leave all things and memories from my past away and I failed when I had to leave her.

"Can I see her?" I asked.

"They wanted to wait till next morning for visitiers."

So I sat there, the rest of day, skipping school just to be there for her when she comes back to me.

I walked into her room the next morning and her eyes were closed so I sat down on a chair, looking at her drained, yet still beautiful body.

"You didn't have to wait for me." A small croak startled me. I looked up to see Shelby, she was laughing lightly but it soon turned into her coughing. I handed her a cup of water, which she took gratefully.

"Sorry. I had to see you." I said giving her a tiny hug before sitting back down again.

"Your so funny." She smiled, "Always such a worry wort."

"Sorry, I just... Have to be." I said shyly, looking down at the ground as if it would swallow Shel and I up, taking us away to just be.

"You know everything is gonna be fine once I get out of this!" Shelby joked but the tension was still in the air.

"I'll be back latter."

"No. Stay....please..."

So I sat, holding her hand.

Why did she do this?

Could I have stopped this?

Was this my fault?

She's not gonna dye is she?

She's okay right?

Why did she really push me away?

She knows I feel about her right?

I did this didn't I?

I hurt her right?

I could have stood by her side or something right?

I'm the bad guy correct?

I'm such a bad person. I mean I just let the girl I care most about almost die......

My phone rings and I answer it.

"Dude, where the hell are you?" I heard Michael's voice on the other line.

"Put it on speaker for the boys to hear."

"Okay it's on. Now talk."

I took a deep breath and bundled up all my strength. I stood up and wrote Shelby a note and began to walk out side.

"Shelby's in the hospital." I sighed sitting down on a bench outside in the chilly December air.

"Why are you there?" Mike snapped.

"She... Um she attempted to um well she tried to freaking kill her self." I cried a few salty droplets skidding down my face.

"Oh..." -Michael- "Wait what?" -Ashton-

"Yeah, um she took a bunch of pills and if her mom hadn't found her she would have.... Oh god.... If she had left me I don't know what I'd do I mean she's amazing and I know I "obsess" over her but really I just like her that freaking much. And I care about her. And I feel like I'm standing in a crowded room, yelling but no one hears my cries..."

By now the tears are raining and I'm a mess and I feel awful.

"She almost died." I sobbed.

."but she didn't Luke." Calum said and than Michael started bawling.

"I'm sorry....." He whimpered.

"For what?" I asked.

"I'm the reason Shelby and you were not talking and I hope you'll forgive me Luke."

****

I'm just trying to proses it all really. I mean my best friends lied to me and lied to Shelby, twisted my words and used them against me. And that all made Shelby try to kill herself.

I stand in front of the sink and the bathroom mirror at home. The reflection that is looking back at me, is a stranger. The guy in the mirror is a little boy, with red eyes and tears streaming down his face. It's a guy who lost and sad. The guys hair is messy and crazy and there's not a smile to be seen on the guys face.

This can't be me.

I bend down and splash cold water on my face. I run my hands through my hair and I feel as if I'm drowning, but someone's trying to pull me up.

Why is the past repeating its self?

I fall asleep that night, worrying about Shelby. At least it starts out that way.

I'm 15 again. My hair is swept to the side.

"Failure"

"Wannabe"

"Ugly"

"Weirdo"

"Jerk"

"Freak"

"Go kill your self Luke Hemmings. You deserve to die. I mean why should you even be alive? Your worth nothing. Your just wasted space!"

I walk through the halls and insults and punches are throw at me. I see a few upset too. I see Ashton, my best friend, we both secretly cry at night, fearing the next day. Our life became a routine.

We wake up and chock down breakfast.

We walk through the halls and hear those words.

We get laughed at and picked on at school.

On the walk home we get ganged up on.

We fall asleep at night, crying and wishing we really were gone.

One day I have enough so I come home to a lonely house.

And take the pills.

My brother arrives just in time.

I'm alive. I failed.

I wake up with sweat covering my back and rolling down my face along with a mixture of tears. My breathing is heavy and rapid.

It's okay Luke it was just a dream, your alive.

I haven't had those dreams in forever.

Shelby!

I call her, a million situations going through my mind.

"Luke?" I worried voice says. "Luke it's 2 in the morning. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I told her "I just had to hear your voice."