Swoosh - a book of breezy poetry

That Moment

I can't stop thinking about the moment you left me
It all happened so fast
I expected that moment to come, but it still came as a shock
When you uttered those words,
The words that play over and over again on repeat in my head.
"I've been putting this off for a while. Our relationship... needs to end."
I stared at you, my whole body numb. That was the last time you looked directly into my eyes for more than a second.
"Now."
One small word, but it felt like a quiet but violent clap of thunder, lightning striking through me, paralyzing me as I stared at you dumbly.
"It's over."
With those words, all my hopes went and jumped off a cliff, plummeting to their deaths.
Then you walked away, and I tried to reach to you as you were leaving,
But my fingers merely skimmed your arm as you turned away from me for the very last time.
Horrified and suddenly alone, I stood there staring at the floor, still paralyzed.
It was several seconds before my legs started to move me away from the place of that terrible scene.
I started walking, to where, I wasn't sure
And as I walked down the stairs of the school to the cafeteria and then out to the courtyard, I felt sort of numb
And I just thought,
This would be a day to mark down. Thursday February 22nd, the day he broke up with me.
When I went out the door and into the courtyard, there I found a friend
A friend
A person
Someone
I didn't want a friend
I wanted my boyfriend to comfort me
But, the thought was still processing in my mind, I no longer had a boyfriend
And there was no where else to go.
So I sat with my friend.
And then the tears came
And they wouldn't stop
And soon enough I was crying, sobbing, wailing, rivers were pouring out of my face.
One by one, more friends came to try and comfort me.
I didn't know how many were there, my face was covered by a curtain of thick dark hair that was wet with snot and tears.
I sobbed and sobbed for all of lunch hour.
I don't know how many people passed by and thought "man, what's up with her?"
After the bell rang, I heard a teacher approach me and my friends.
My mind was too cloudy with grief and pain to listen to what she said,
But whatever she said meant that we had to move
And so three loyal friends who hadn't left to go to class
Brought me inside to a room in the office
That was probably a counselling room or something.
I felt sort of like I was floating rather than walking
I couldn't see where we were going, I just let my messy hair hang over my face
As my friends guided me to the room.
I didn't want anyone to see my ugly sob-face.
I sobbed a bit longer in my friends' arms,
And eventually I stopped
And they comforted me and made me laugh.
But I still felt miserable and empty
And my life seemed to have lost its meaning.

I still cry when I think of that horrible day.
I still don't know what to do.
How do I get rid of this excruciating lonely feeling?
How will I live a life without you in it?