Forget [Fem! Red Leader X Reader]

Ignorer Fortiden {Part One}

A/N
Ok I left the last chapter on a horror story cliffhanger so I'm just here to tell you that spirit (from the lifeboat) that had a grudge against the Ellsworld gang (you'll find their name in a later chapter or time in the book) followed Ell back and ... no spoilers.

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(Tori's POV)
"Why are you sorry?" She asked quietly, lowering her head and seeming uncomfortable.

"What?" I asked.

"You're sorry for ... me." She stated bluntly, and as if she was able to read my expression like a book, she spoke again, her face still downcast. "Now you're feeling guilty ... and something else."

I looked away. She was right, I was feeling guilty and sorry, but I didn't know whether she knew the 'something else' I was feeling or if she didn't know and was trying to press it out of me.

She sighed. "Anyway," she said, changing the subject because she probably wanted to lift the tension in between us. "You said that you wanted to talk to me, and I'm pretty sure it wasn't about this."

"Yeah, I did."

(Ell's POV)
I've been here for days. Every day at some point, Tamara or Matilda would leave a meal in front of my door. I would only eat a small amount once a day.

I sat on my bed, staring at the floor and listening to the voices that were blaring in my ears.

You did me wrong.

This is your fault.

Shut up.

See? I were right.

I tried to block all the noise out. They kept whispering, and I was convinced that I was crazy by now. It felt like they were gnawing away at my sanity. I was slowly being forgotten in this dark and deadly world. No one called me Miss Gold anymore. Just Ell.

All of the sudden, the voices were fading, until they stopped completely. This isn't good. I sat up and followed the voices until I heard them faintly, in front of Tamara's door. But they had taken a new form.

Instead of just voices, there was a black silhouette of a feminine figure that I would recognize anywhere. Matilda. There were a few things that were different.

She had a twisted smile for an expression and it seemed as if a kindergartner messily scribbled on her face. I stared in at the figure in disbelief for a few moments before attempting to tackle the silhouette, unfortunately failing.

I fazed right through the figure and fell to the floor. Luckily, my contact with the silhouette caused it to disappear just as Tamara opened the door to see the imposter. But she only saw me, on the floor, blowing on my hands at an attempt to get rid of the pebbles, dirt and pain.

"Oh, hey Ell. Did you see anyone outside of my door, pretending to be Matilda? I thought I heard some mischievous soldiers pulling a prank on me." Tamara asked.

I hesitated. "No."

She raised an eyebrow. I noticed her digital eye twitch in suspicion, but she sighed softly and looked at someone in her room.

Tamara glanced back at me. "Come in, you seem in a different mood today." She helped me up and checked my palms. They were a bit grazed from the dirty tile. "And let's get you some gauze for your hands." She lead me in and I saw Matilda in there, knitting some kind of hat for some reason.

Tamara gestured to a chair and I sat down in it. Matilda noticed my presence and smiled. I shot her a quick smile then went back to
re-evaluating my existence as they began to wrap the gauze around my hand. I stared out the window, completely zoned out.

"I see you changed your outfit recently." Matilda commented. I remembered that I was wearing a pale green sweater with beige leggings. It was similar to my old outfit; green hoodie and khakis.

They think you're weak for changing into a different outfit. I bet they think you want your old lifestyle and want to quit the rebellion.

Can't you leave me alone for once?! What did I do? Who are you anyway?

I'm surprised you don't recognize me. We knew each other so well. You were best friends with my pathetic excuses for daughters.

I immediately tried to block the voices out. How wasn't she gone? I made sure there was no way she could escape that place! It was for their sake ... it was for mine.

"Ell? Ell, are you alright?" Tamara's voice pulled me out of my conscience. Ever since she found out that Tori was keeping
Y/N hostage, she has been more protective of everyone. I felt genuinely sympathetic for her.

"Yeah," I said. "I'm fine."

(Your POV)
Tori explained that she was going on a trip to Paris, France, to see how things were going there. And since she didn't want to leave you here - for some reason - so she was making you come. You didn't mind too much, to be honest.

You were slightly excited. Recently the odd - yet familiar - feeling of butterflies in your stomach whenever you were around Tori. You used to feel that way when things were still normal, it was a gut feeling that the butterflies were here and here to stay.

Paula would be coming with the two of you (just for adult supervision lol) and Patricia was staying at the base to keep things up and running. Tori seemed a bit nervous around you, and you were hoping that your feelings may be mutual.

But ... would that be too fast? You pondered as you noticed that most people - including Tori - left the cafeteria and were going to bed. You sighed heavily and tried to recall when you and Tori were leaving. You were pretty sure that it was tomorrow night.

Nevertheless, you entered Tori's office and went back into your room that was off to the side.

You noticed that Thorn was already asleep. He would be staying here, with Patricia. You changed out of your work clothes and into your old F/C hoodie but kept the black pants on. You slipped into your bed, where Thorn was laying.

How is Ell ...