fix his heart | lippa

chapter quinze

I sit next to Lin the whole night.

Praying for some kind of miracle.

I'm woken up by someone whispering my name.

"Lin?"

"Pippa I'm ok."

"Holy shit Lin!"

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you..." He smiles

"Don't ever do that again.."

"I'm sorry beautiful."

"I love you so much."

"Just know what ever happens in your life, I'm always here.."

"What? What are you talking about?"

"Pippa. This is a dream."

"Lin? What no no no... please."

"I'm sorry I had to go this way. I couldn't take the pain."

"What pain?"

"Pippa I killed my self. I jumped in front of that truck."

"Why!"

I wake up gasping for air sobbing.

It was a dream

He killed him self?

I could have prevented this.

Now it's really all my fault.

"Hey are you alright-"

Renee comes out from my guest room, I asked her to stay the night with me.

"No! Lin killed himself!"

"What?"

"He told me!!!"

"Pippa, It's late you need to go back to bed..."

"Renee he told me."

"Go back to be-"

"I'm not kidding!"

"Pippa explain to me exactly what happened."

"He was in my dream, he told me he would always be there for me and that he killed himself!"

"It was a dream-"

"No! Get out!! Get out of my room now!" I sob throwing a pillow at Renee

"Pippa. Relax please your going to get yourself sick...."

"Does it look like I give a SHIT!? Renee he's going to die! It's all my fucking fault!"

"All MY fault!" I sob

She tries to comfort me but I push her away.

"Don't touch me!" I hiss

"Ok, ok. You need some time. Try to sleep."

She gets up, and closes the door.

I sob into my pillow

My first ever love killed him self?

This is all my fault I don't care how many people tell me it's not. It is.

If I didn't get hurt we wouldn't be here right now.

Everything would be normal.

We would be doing shows, hanging out, going on dates, maybe even getting married....

I walk over to all the photographs and notes from Lin. I watch my tears fall onto all the notes he left me.

Pippa Soo!
       I'm sorry, you were right. The jeans didn't match with my suit... I love you
   -LMM