(Unedited)
Niall's P.O.V
Regret.
Afraid.
Sorrow.
Guilt.
Those are my emotions right now. What the hell happened to me? Why didn't I stop myself from choking Dr. Harmon? I know I'm crazy and will always be. After coming back to my own body, I saw the look of horror on Dr. Harmon and Lucy.
I don't want to be like this.
I became friends with my nightmares that I considered them as my personal artworks. My twisted sense of dreams.
It's been wierd, I feel like I'm not here but I realy am.
All days are days of insanity. I can't run away from this. How can you run away from what's inside of you? I would like to consider whatever is inside my body to be not part of me but to be part of something else.
Does that even make sense?
I'm saying that I hope it's a demon inside me causing pain to others and me. I don't want the evil inside from me to be me but a different person or creature. I know what's coming, I told Dr. Harmon that and I'm afraid. I'm afraid of what my other personality which I call a demon can do. Sometimes I feel like it's good to have this but in the same time I don't. I'm not as vile as my second half. I'm not like that, I know I am. God I'm so bipolar. I sigh and let my mind wonder creating a poem.
"Demons are lurking in the shadows of reality
and in trying to find my sanity
everything's confusing in my fragile state of mind
the shadows lurking are so hard to find
I'm trying to stay strong
but everything I'm doing seems so wrong
darkness is starting to eat at my mind but there's nowhere to hide
I'm starting to fall
I'm afraid i'll lose it all.
They think about winning,
For they have nothing to fear of
And they know how to take
Control of our minds.
They make us fear death,
They make us fear love,
They make us feel worthless,
And nothing can win against thus.
Even though they are capable
Of such things"
I pull my hair in frustration pacing back and forth. In just a few more minutes, Dr. Harmon is going to walk through my door. Why is he even coming back? Shit, if I was choked by some lunatic I wouldn't go back. He must be insane to be coming back to me. I hear the door open slightly and I turned around seeing Dr. Harmon standing by the doorway. I felt guilt run over me when I saw the finger prints bruised into his neck. What kind of person does that? God why did I had to do that, I don't even remember till I was me again.
"No I don't want no one here, I'll be ok", Dr. Harmon gritted.
"Are you crazy! Remember what happened last time father", someone whispered-yelled.
Lucy.
"No now get going", Dr. Harmon said closing the door turning to face me.
I sat there with my legs crossed with an amuse look on my face. I never saw this side of Dr. Harmon before.
