This Is The End (PUBLISHING)

Chapter 09

Letter 09

Dear Hide,

Were you here long enough to fall in love with someone? Were you here long enough to stare at them from across the room? Here long enough to fall in love with their eyes, the way they smiled, the way they moved?

What did you miss out on?

I want you to live on.

Hell, I want you to just fucking live.

Sometimes, I sit here and I just want the police to find your body. At the same time, I don't know if I could even come to your funeral because then I'd know you really are gone. Yes the police reports say you're gone, but, there's no body.

I just want to hope you're still there.

It's stupid, you're not. I should understand this.

I just...

I don't know anymore, Hide. Maybe I'll come and visit you in heaven, wouldn't that be nice? I could come visit you and see all that you've done!

Permanently.

Chapter 09-

Monday had came just as fast as last Monday did. It was scary to see that even though somebody's gone, time didn't stop.

Time didn't stop for anybody.

The school day, however, dragged on. I couldn't wrap my head around any new material, and I decided to sit outside for lunch. The ground had froze over, but I walked out there in jeans and a tee shirt. Everyone watched, some people opened the door and offered me a seat at their table.

I declined.

I wanted to be alone. Out in the cold, where Hide was. No matter what place he had gone to, whether he was still alive, or he was 6 feet under...it was cold.

He was cold...

Wasn't he?

When the bell for class rang, I stepped inside the building, and walked with my head hung low. I could feel everyone watching me walk in. I was the first to leave the lunchroom, first to my class...

But probably the last to let go of Hide...

I got called up to the guidance counselor later that day, so I dragged my feet and shuffled on to her office. Her name was Ms.Black, a nice, young woman with bright blue eyes and silky brown hair, but that didn't change the fact that I didn't wanna talk to her.

"Welcome, Mr.Degenro, please, come take a seat."

I sighed, taking a seat in the chair closest to the door. I propped my elbows onto the arm rest and stretched my legs out. "I called you to my office to talk about your reaction to Mr.Kanaji's death..."

I looked away from her. "Don't tell me you're here to say that it will get better.." I paused. "Don't tell me you're going to say that...if you are, I'm leaving."

You could hear her frustration already as she spoke. "That's not why I'm here to talk to you, I wanted to ask if you felt suicidal..."

My head jerked up, "Excuse me?"

She leaned back in her chair and nodded, "Because it is suspected that Mr.Kanaji took his own life, and you were close to him...we thought that-"

I spoke over her, "-You thought what? You thought I would follow him? You thought I'd be the next kid to go?"

She huffed, "This is necessary to see where you are emotionally and mentally,"

I stood up, "Do you want to know where I am emotionally and mentally?" I paused, breathing in and out very slowly.