This Is The End (PUBLISHING)

Chapter 14

Letter 14

Dear Hide,

I can't believe I'm doing this.

No, it's just to see your house.

I'm not going to go near it, or touch it, or go inside, or...

I'm not going to relive thhe best and worst moments of my life. I'm not going to allow my memories with you to be tainted.

No, not the ones with you.

You made everything better, you gave me the strength to do things I didn't think I could do, even if death...so..

Can you do this one for me, buddy?

Give me the strength to stop crying? To maybe figure out how to continue on? Because I miss you, I really do...

But I never want to end up like you.

I took a deep breath, driving down the street and towards Hide's house. I was dressed nice, ready to go to Adrien after I made the quick stop. My heart was beating faster than it ever had before, it was like the whole world was ending right there. I could feel it all.

It was silent in the car, I couldn't bring myself to change it. I wanted that silence, all for oyu, I wanted to take it in one last time.

I wanted this to be it.

I wanted these moments pulling towards your house that I would be done being so upset, so drained, so mentally screwed up over you.

I stopped.

I stared.

Sorry, I know you'd rather me not stare at your house, but I couldn't help it. Just like the first time, I could see our younger selves enjoying our lives without a care in the world on your lawn. I could see all our happy days, where we weren't worried about death, or dating or even schoolwork. We were at peace.

I long for that feeling once again.

I found myself opening the car door and taking in the smell of the fresh air. It was nice.

I stood, leaning against my car door that I just shut, staring at your house. I would glance at the ground, then look back up and try to smile. I'd fail, then look back down at the ground.

I wanted to stand there, not ever leave, walk or drive. No, I wanted to go back only a couple days, a few weeks, and live in a moment when you were still alive.

I took a step forwards.

No, I'm not ready for this.

My mind told me one thing, but my body told me something else.

I wanted to go in, for some reason I felt the need to go in.

I took another step, feeling the weight of not only my body, but all my decisions begin to fall onto me. I felt the aching of my legs as I continued my slow, weighted walk to his driveway, then stopped.

I took a deep breath.

This is it.

You either go in, do it all, or you turn away and stress yourself out this much next time.

"Get this over with, East..." I told myself under my breath, clenching my fist one time, nodding my head and walking fast to the door. I walked past the dying flowers in the flower bed, past the low flying flag, past the stone footprint from Hide when he was a child on the ground.

There I stood, staring at the door and breathing heavy.

"I don't want to do this,"

I ranh the door bell.