Determined to Endure: The 4th Installment in my Daryl Dixon Love Story

Chapter 15: Done

One of the men from an earlier stopping point calls out to us, "good. You made it. Welcome to where you're going." Another man brings out Eugene, his face bloodied and his eyes streaming with tears. They push him to his knees and put a gun against his temple. The man steps closer, fear coursing through me. Is this Negan? Will he kill us all for killing them? I try to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes, knowing the new life I was trying to build will never be, "we'll take your weapons. Now." He demands.

Rick tries to come back with a, "we can talk about--"

But the man stops him, "we're done talking. Time to listen."

Men and women come out of the shadows and take every weapon we have off of us. I keep my eyes trained on the back of Rick's head, as he obviously tries to control his own shaking. The guy makes a comment towards Carl, who just glares at him. He turns to Rick and says, "let's get her down and get you all on your knees." He does a quick hand clap, "lots to cover."

Some men start to walk towards us to get Maggie down but Abraham growls, "hold up. We got it."

The man allows it, "sure, sure." Everyone, including Carl comes in to help lower Maggie to the ground. She slowly starts to lift herself up and Rick and Abraham get her up to her knees. We all stand as they bring Eugene closer and the man directs us, getting directly into Rick's face, "gonna need you on your knees." Rick holds his stare, but he complies. As he drops to his knee's the rest of us do as well. Abraham next to Maggie, next to me then Rick. Sasha is next to him, with Aaron then Carl and Eugene at the end. As we all squat in the dirt, the guy calls out, "let's get the others. Now!" A few people start to shift and he calls for the man who killed Denise, "Dwight! Dwight!"

"Yeah." Dwight appears from behind a car, moving to a container.

"Chop-chop." He demands. My heart drops into my stomach when I see Daryl. I can't say it was good to see him, because I know if I think that then he or I might die. I feel a moment of relief to know he's still alive but the dread of what's happening now quickly consumes that. His eyes scan our small curved line, and our eyes lock for a moment. His eyes drop after that, and I can only imagine what he's thinking. Michonne kneels next to Abraham and Daryl stumbles next to her. He's covered in blood and I can't do anything to help him from where I kneel. Rosita gets pushed to her knees next to him and Glenn rounds out the group. He calls out to his wife, but she can't answer. None of us can, there are no words at this moment. We fought so we didn't have to come to this but in reality, we just brought it onto ourselves sooner, "all right! We got a full boat. Let's meet the man." He calls, and something sharp runs through my body. If he isn't Negan, then who is?

The guy knocks on the trailer door we sit in front of and a moment later out walks the cockiest son of a bitch I've ever laid eyes on, "pissing our pants yet?" He asks with a smile. He walks closer towards us, but slowly to show us that he has all the time in the world for this, "boy, do I have a feeling we're getting close. Yep. It's gonna be pee-pee pants city here real soon." I keep my eyes trained on him, memorizing every detail of the man we've been trying to hunt down. His hair is blackish grey, slicked back and his beard is growing in, not been shaven in a few days, maybe a week. I can't tell what color his eyes are, but they ooze with the lust of wanting power, "which one of you pricks is the leader?" He asks, pointing around.

The man behind us says, "it's this one. He's the guy."

Negan looks to Rick, the smug smile never leaving his face. He sighs, his breath visible in the cold air, "hi. You're Rick, right?' He asks, "I'm Negan. And I do not appreciate you killing my men." He goes on, "also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people. Not cool. Not cool. You have no idea how not cool that shit is. But I think you're gonna be up to speed shortly. Yeah. You are so gonna regret crossing me in a few minutes." His lips form into a smile and eyes glisten with something behind them, "yes, you are. You see, Rick, whatever you do, no matter what, you don't mess with the new world order. And the new world order is this, and it's really very simple. So, even if you're stupid, which you very may well be, you can understand it. You ready? Here goes. Pay attention." He puts a bat directly over Rick's shoulder, and I can see it wrapped in barbed wire. My eyes stay plastered on that bat, while he tells Rick how things are going to go, "give me your shit, or I will kill you." He starts to walk to the left, swinging that bat by his side for us all to see, "today was career day. We invested a lot so you would know who I am and what I can do. You work for me now. You have shit, you give it to me. That's your job. Now, I know that is a mighty big, nasty pill to swallow, but swallow it you most certainly will." Negan continues, and I know he just loves to hear his own voice, "you ruled the roost. You built something. You thought you were safe. I get it. But the word is out. You are not safe. Not even close. In fact, you are pegged, more pegged if you don't do what I want. And what I want is half your shit. And if that's too much, you can make, find, or steal more, and it'll even out sooner or later." He steps back, basking in the headlights shining in. His arms open, "this is your way of life now." He walks back to Rick, making sure he keeps his eye contact, "the more you fight back, the harder it will be. So, if someone knocks on your door" he chuckles, "you let us in. We own that door. You try to stop us and we will knock it down. You understand?" Silence through out the woods and Negan bends down and puts his hand to his ear, "what, no answer?" He backs away, looking at all of us now, "you don't really think that you were gonna get through this without being punished, now, did you? I don't want to kill you people. Just want to make that clear from the get-go. I want you to work for me." His bat comes back around, pointed at Rick again, "you can't do that if you're dead, now, can you? I'm not growing a garden. But you killed my people, a whole damn lot of them. More than I'm comfortable with. And for that, for that you're gonna pay. So, now, I'm gonna beat the holy hell outta one of you." He says it with ease, with no condemnation. He says it as a promise. The tears I've worked so hard to hold back, start to come down at the realization that one of us is dying tonight. He swings his bat in his hands, and starts to explain, "this-- this is Lucille, and she is awesome." I look to Daryl, whose normal strong, defensive demeanor is replaced with an injured and defeated man. Any little shred of hope I had within me, leaves when Daryl's eyes meet mine, and I know he has the same thought as I do, "all this, all this is just so we can pick out which one of you gets the honor." Negan stares at me, then Maggie but stops when he's in front of Abraham. Abraham sits up taller, his face cold as stone. Negan comments, "huh. Ugh, I gotta shave this shit." He begins to walk to the other side of Rick, eyeing them one by one until he gets to Carl, "you got one of our guns. Whoa. Yeah. You got a lot of our guns. Shit, kid, lighten up. At least cry a little." He looks back down the line then stands and chuckles. He coughs out, while replacing the gun from Carl into the front waistband of his jeans. Negan walks past me and stops when he stands in front of Maggie. He eyes her real good, "Jesus. You look shitty. I should just put you out of your misery right now." He lifts up his bat from his side as if he's going to hit her and my eyes instantly close.

I hear Glenn call out, "No! No!"

I open them, Glenn more in the middle but on the ground, stopped by another savior, "stop it!" Maggie pleads.

Negan calls out, "nope. Nope, get him back in line."

Glenn pleads as he is being dragged back to the side, "No. No. No." He sobs louder then the rest of who are crying do and continues to beg, "don't. Don't."

Negan smiles again, and chuckles, "all right, listen. Don't any of you do that again. I will shut that shit down, no exceptions. First one's free. It's an emotional moment, I get it." He points to Glenn, the smile never leaving. He turns back to look at Rick, "sucks, don't it? The moment you realize you don't know shit." Rick looks up to Negan, still without words. Moments of silence that feel like hours before he asks Rick, "this is your kid, right?" He starts to slowly walk towards Carl again, "this is definitely your kid."

Rick finally spits out, his voice loud but shaky, "just stop this!"

"Hey!" Negan puts himself back in front of Rick, "do not make me kill the little future serial killer. Don't make it easy on me. I gotta pick somebody. Everybody's at the table waiting for me to order." He drops his bat and starts to walk the line again, whistling the same two toned crap everyone whistled when we got to the clearing. The bat drags as he eyes us all, "I simply cannot decide." He chuckles as he does a little turn in the dirt, "I got an idea" He gets out, his smug smile growing even larger and creepier. He chuckles as he starts off, "Eenie..." the bat at Rick, "meenie..." the bat at me, "miney... mo..." he goes down the line, all of us getting a word, "catch... a tiger... by" I sob heavily when he points it at Daryl, "his toe. If... he hollers... let him go. My mother... told me.." The bat comes back around again, pointed at me, "to pick the very best one... and you... are... it." The bat is to my right, just past Maggie as he points it at Abraham. The tears flow harder, but he just sits up taller and stares him down, "anybody moves, anybody says anything, cut the boy's other eye out and feed it to his father and then we'll start. You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry. Hell, you're all gonna be doing that." He lifts the bat up and my eyes close, unable to witness the death of our friend. If only my ears could have been closed, the sound of the bat hitting his skull echoes in my brain and I start to sob uncontrollably. I hear other cries, some screams and background noise but nothing stands out more than the sound that bat is making as it hits Abraham, over and over again. I can feel the warm blood splatter on to me and I start to dry heave, my lungs feeling as if they are collapsing.