Determined to Endure: The 4th Installment in my Daryl Dixon Love Story

Chapter 21: Everyone is Miserable

The week is up, and I have to make a decision by nightfall. Negan left early to collect from Alexandria and I haven't seen Daryl since Dwight dragged me to his cage. I've heard he's working for Negan now, even got to go on the run to Alexandria but I haven't been able to go off and find him. That afternoon, as we all sit in Negan's room chatting, the door opens. When Negan walks in, I stand when I see whose behind him. Carl walks in, confused and bewildered, "ladies" Negan says out to us all. Negan says a few things to Carl in a whisper and when he's done, he looks to Sherry, "can I talk to you for a second, dear wife?" He points to her then over towards his bar. She stands and the two move, "feel free to have a short conversation with your old friend." He says to me referring to Carl.

"Carl!" I rush over to give him a hug, "how's Maggie?" I ask him quickly. He just stares at me, telling me he won't say anything right here. "What are you doing here?" I ask him next, pulling him aside to get away from the ears of the other ladies.

"I came here to kill him." He tells me.

"Carl" I whisper, "you need to leave, now! I can distract him but you need to get away." I urge him, my brain already running through the different ways I could distract Negan.

Carl ignores my pleas, "I'm not leaving" his voice is firm, and I know I can't convince him in the short moments we have left to talk.

Negan walks over now, and I take one side step away from Carl. He goes and kneels in front of the young blonde that joined him as a wife a few weeks before I came in. He lowers his voice, but everyone can still hear him, "Amber, baby. You know I don't want anyone here that doesn't want to be here, right?"

"Mm-hmm." She mutters, clearly scared of what's going on.

"Oh. So if you want to leave and go back to Mark, you can. But what can't you do?"

"Cheat on you." She chokes out.

"That is exactly right." He eyes me for a second then focuses back on her, "you can't... cheat on me. There's plenty of other gals who would love to take your place, and there's a few job openings that I can think of. You want to go back to Mark and your mom? Hell, I'll put you all on the same job."

"No." She quickly spits out, "I--I'll stay. I'm... I'm sorry."

Negan asks her, "you know what that means, right? You know what that means, right?" He pushes for her to answer.

"Ye... Yes." She answers, tears rolling down her face, "I love you, Negan."

"Oh, of course you do, darlin'." He smiles back, taking a hand to her cheek to wipe a tear away, "I don't know why you're crying. It's all gonna work out aces for you."

He stands up, turning to look at Sherry, "will you get Carson for me?" She nods yes to him, assuring him she will.

He comes over to me, pulling me just a tad closer to him, "did you see that? Wasn't hard on her, even though I am— very hard in general." He cocks an eyebrow.

"You're an asshole." I mutter under my breath.

He smiles, but likes what I said, "I know. But the messed-up thing is, you're starting to like me anyway. Yanno Sadie, I really like you, I can't quite figure you out." Negan leans in to kiss me and I have to let him. I feel him move as he kisses me and when he pulls away from me he looks over to who just walked in. I do as well, and my stomach drops and knots when I see Daryl standing there with Dwight. Negan chuckles, but saunters over, "oh, did you not know your girl was here?" Negan asks Daryl, stepping closer to him to get a grape from the tray of food he carried in. I guess Dwight never told him he took me to see Daryl.

Daryl spits back, "she ain't my girl" My heart breaks, but I know I can explain it to him later. If I ever get the chance. After he said that comment about me, he looks over to Carl, "why do you got him here?"

Negan gets closer to Daryl, "whoa! What we talk about when you're not here, is none of your business." Negan tells him, then turns to smile at Sherry. He then asks, "Carl, will you grab this tray for me?" Carl goes tin take it from Daryl, and Negan then spits, "do not make me put this toothpick through the only eye he has." He says it as a warning to Daryl, and I know Daryl will bite his tongue. He passes the tray to Carl. Negan then directs, "you go with Dwight. He'll get you a mop. Dwighty boy, fire up that furnace. I'll be down in a few. Time for a little deja vu." He then looks to Carl, "come on, kid." Before he leaves the room, he looks to me and says, "anytime you want to answer my proposal darling, I'll be waiting." He throws me a wink and then gestures for Dwight and Daryl to move for him. He leaves the room with Carl and then Dwight follows. Daryl stays for just a second and stares me down. I go to open my mouth and say something but Dwight comes back in to drag him away. Half an hour later, everyone has to gather around. Sherry whispers to me, "Mark's going to be ironed, we need to be there for Amber."

I look to her, nodding. All these women have already accepted me as another wife and although I want to hate every single person in here, being here day after day is making it harder to keep doing that. Negan walks out, and everyone including myself bows down. He yells out, "you know the deal. What's about to happen is gonna be hard to watch. I don't want to do it. I wish I could just ignore the rules and let it slide, but I can't. Why?"

Everyone answers in unison, "the rules keep us alive." I look around to the few I can see and they all then look up to watch him.

Negan begins to ascend down the stairs, "that-- is--right. We survive. We provide security to others. We bring civilization back to this world. We are the Saviors. But we can't do that without rules. Rules are what make it all work. I know it's not easy. But there's always work. There is always a cost. Here, if you try to skirt it, if you try to cut that corner" he chuckles, "then it is the iron for you." He directs us all, "on your feet. Everyone stands but it's still silent enough that you could hear a pin drop. He goes over to Dwight, having put on a glove and grabs the iron, "Mark" he walks closer to him, "I'm sorry. But it is what it is." Negan pushes the iron to his face and the man screams in agony. I see the sizzling of his skin and I have to look away, "ah, that wasn't so bad, now, was it?" I hear Negan say, and I look up. Mark is passed out in the chair, his head slumped down, "Jesus. He pissed himself." He stands behind Daryl, "clean that up" and Daryl moves to mop it. His eyes barely meet mine when he moves but when they connect he dodges looking at me, "Doc, I'm all done." He tells a man, and the doctor in a white coat moves to assist in untying and moving Mark. He hollers out, "let Mark's face be a daily reminder to him and to everyone else that the rules matter. I hope that we all learned something today, because I don't ever... want to have to do that again." He walks back over to where Carl is, his face still in shock and he says something to him. He wraps his arm around him and the two walk off.