We walked into the hospital, hand in hand. I signed in and started towards my doctors office. I opened the door for Alex and she walked into his office. I saw my therapist and doctor, talking and catching up. "Mischa!" I hugged them and introduced them to Alex.
"So this is the girl you been shut up about," Dr. Myers said. I blushed a little and nodded. "I'm glad she's here though. You two are getting married, correct?" I nodded and she smiled. "Good. He's going to need you. Doing this is very mentally stressful."
"Come, sit," Dr. Gontarek said. We did and she was more nervous than I was. They launched into how they planned to do the surgery and get me there. "Are you doing top surgery too?"
"No. I don't have boobs anymore."
"You didn't have them, pre-t either," Alex said. I looked at her and she smiled at me. They laughed a little.
"Okay. So, the surgery will take a long time to heal. There are multiple things that will be done at once."
"While you heal, you will need to continue seeing me." They explained a few more things. "Questions?"
"Will it work," Alex asked.
"Yeah. It will. He won't be able to get you pregnant, though."
"How many have you done," I asked.
"Probably close to 150. Ninety eight of those have been successful. Obviously, there are complications to every surgery."
"This may sound weird, but do you have post op pictures?"
"It's not weird and yes I do," he replied. He typed something on his computer and turned the screen. He clicked through a couple and explained what he had done. "So, you decided on a phalloplasty, correct?"
"Yeah. I explained it to her on the way over."
"So, how are you paying for this? Do we need to work out a payment plan?"
"No. I have the money," I said. He seemed shocked, but it's nothing new. "I run the family business."
We finished talking a bit more. She asked a lot of questions, more than me. We booked my appointment for a month later and started walking out. Alex was talking to my therapist about something as we did. I couldn't hear them while I was talking to Gontarek. "Thanks for coming. Since this is just a consultation, there's no fee," he said when we got to the front desk.
"I'll see you in a month, doc." I grabbed Alex's hand on our way out. "What were you talking to her about," I asked.
"Nothing." She was lying, but I guess she can keep it to herself. They were probably talking about me anyways.
I opened the door for her and she got in. I pecked her lips and got in my side. "Tell me what's wrong." I turned and looked at her.
"I'm scared. We're twenty and we're getting married. We can't even drink! What makes you think we can have a family? Live together? Make the right choices? Our frontal lobes aren't even fully developed. Like, how are we supposed to get through marriage?"
"Alex, if you don't want to get married, we don't have to. We can get marriage counseling, a fresh shrink who doesn't know either of us. What about a financial- Wait we already have one. What are you unsure about?"
"I don't know. Something just tells me we aren't ready."
"Is it what Myers said? What did she tell you?"
"To not rush things. What if something happens to you? You're a fuckung drug dealer! God, I swore I would never let myself get this way." She turned and looked out the window. I grabbed her hand.
