him & I | gd

lost and hurt

Alexis's POV

Time had gone by and the event was coming to an end. I was seated back at my seat, plotting and planning.

Tonight, I would take Grayson home and sleep with him.
I know he still wants me back after what he did.
I know he's sorry.

But I'm going to hurt him tonight.

I get up from my seat and look at where Grayson is.
I walk as gracefully and confidently as I can over to him and tap his back from behind, sliding my hand over his broad shoulders.

"hey, do you wanna maybe talk...
somewhere else?" I asked him raising my brow slightly with a smirk on my lips.

Ugh I'm really going in aren't I?

"O-of course" he stuttered, confused at my actions.

We walked to a corner of the event where no one was standing. He leaned up against the wall, his muscles flexing through his tight button up shirt as he crossed his arms.
What a turn on.

"Look, I know we haven't been through the best, but I want to put that behind us and move on.
My place, tonight?" I asked him.

Fuck I was hella nervous. The confidence was all a tough act I was putting up.
None of it was real.
This boy makes me feel some way and I can't even explain it.

"Oh, sure" he replied with a smirk on his face.
He knew exactly what I meant. I'm glad he caught on.
___________________________________________

Grayson's POV

The event came to a close and I followed Alexis out. He car was surprisingly parked close to mine. She told me to follow her home, so I started my car after her and starting driving.

Man, what was all that. I would have never expected her to be so bold and basically tell me that she wanted to fuck.

*(lmao im cringing guys)

Her touch made me jump, her beautiful hands slid across my shoulders.
I couldn't find the right words to say, she left me baffled.
Honestly I didn't know what to say. I love her so much, every second I get with her is like a privilege to me.
I don't want to be a dick and say I only want to get with her, because that's not true at all.
But if it gets me to have another chance with her at all, I'll do it.

We arrived at her apartment a few moments later and I quickly got out of my car.
She walked over to me smiling, and she grabbed onto my left hand with her right hand.

What is she playing at?
She's really not the type to chase after a guy.

She lead me inside and shut the door behind us.
Suddenly I was taken back by surprise as she leaned in and kissed me, hard.

She was backed up against her apartment door and I was pushing her up against it.

"It's just something about you, that makes me crawl back for more" she whispered between the kisses.

Shivers went down my spine as she softly spoke to me. Her saying that meant everything.

We went to her room, and...
stuff happened ;)
________________
Alexis's POV

"Get out", I spoke almost immediately after we finished our 'business'.

"Wh-what" he questioned quickly getting up from my bed.

"You heard me, get out".

"So why the hell did you invite me back to your place Alexis? Just to sleep with me?

"Yeah, that's what you seemed to do the entire time we were together. You just slept with me, cheated and left when I needed your support".

"I did not just want to sleep with you and you know that. I told you it was my biggest mistake. Fuck you don't even know that I still love you. I'd be willing to do anything if it meant I got a chance to just be around you once more".

"Grayson, seriously I don't care anymore. I don't give a fuck. Remember you promised me that you would love and support me forever? You promised, whatever happened to that" I harshly spat sarcastically chucking at the end.

"Please, just another chance is all I want. I love you" he pleaded.

"Bye Grayson" I said rolling my eyes at him as I lead him to the door.

He stood outside and I watched him in tears. Tears rolling down his beautiful eyes.
I shut the door and watched him leave from my window.

Who am I kidding, hurting him didn't make me feel accomplished at all. It hurt me.
It hurt me seeing the boy I love in this state.
It hurt me knowing that I made him cry on purpose.

What have I done. I've ruined any tiny chance that was left for us to get together again. Of course I want him back. More then anything.

He walked to his car, it was 1 am and pouring with rain now.
I watched him drench in the water droplets.
The only light was the dim orange street light shining down on him.

I shut my curtain and walked up to my room.
*sigh*

I sat on my bed wrapping myself in my sheets.
Sheets that once again smelled like my lover.

All I did the rest of the night was cried.
I cried and cried and didn't get a tiny bit of sleep.
I'm so fucked up.
______________
Grayson's POV

She yelled at me telling me to get lost. I thought she might have felt something for me. I had the tiniest bit of hope inside me.

But I was so wrong. She completely hates me.
She slept with me and told me to get out.
She used me to fulfill her needs.
Somehow I'm okay with that. She could use me all she wants and I would still run back to her,
Every single chance I got.

I had no choice but to leave after pleading to her endlessly.
Tears welled up in my eyes as she slammed the door on me.

I walked down the street to my car in the pouring rain.
Crying.

How did she become this heartless? Did I really make her this way?

Never the less, I wasn't going to give up. I still have her number.

I don't care if she's hurt me, because what the fuck is love with no pain and no suffer?
(Song reference, "him and I" by G Eazy and Halsey)

Ive hurt her many times as well, and I'm sure as hell not proud of it. But I'm not giving up.
I'll never give up, I know that deep down she still has feelings for me.

She's just as hurt and lost as I am. But the difference between her and I is that she's too stubborn to admit it.
To admit that she stills loves me. I made it quite clear that I still do.

I've just got to... work on it.
And actually do it right this time.