"its just something about you that makes me crawl back for more"
- one of the hardest moments in life is deciding whether to walk away or try harder <3
"Gra- grayson" I said leaning both my hands on the bed and sitting up slightly. I looked around. This wasn't my home, this was Grayson's apartment.
And then I remembered, I had a panic attack... but how did I end up here?
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Grayson's POV
"Gra- Grayson" I heard her angelic voice once again and snapped my head towards her. She was awake. Laying on my bed. It reminded me of the the time we were together.
How most mornings I would wake up to her tucked in my bed, sleeping peacefully.
I ran towards her quickly at sat beside her on the bed.
"How are you feeling" I asked her looking deep in her eyes. She looked back at mine and there was a silence between us. Of course there would be. This isn't normal. For exes to be together in this situation especially after they ended so badly.
She swallowed the air in her throat and looked away from me. "I'm fine, how did I get here" she asked me going back to her stubborn tone.
"I saw you collapse at the beach so I brought you home" I told her.
Man I can't keep my eyes off her. She's so beautiful. Perfect. It's crazy how bad I just want to cradle her in my arms right now and shower her with kisses. I want to tell her how much I love her and how much I regret ever hurting her. I want to tell her how precious she is to me.
But it sucks because I can't. She isn't mine. I don't have the right to do any of those things.
"Do you feel fine to talk.. you know, about us" I asked her. I felt my hands sweat and my head become dizzy. I don't even know why. My nerves started hitting in.
She sighed and sat up fully straight crossing her legs and patted on the bed closer to her, signaling me to sit next to her. Even small gestures like this made me so happy. For once she wasn't pushing me away. I moved closer to her and crossed my legs too. We were now facing each other awkwardly, my hands rested in my lap and so did hers. I found it so hard to start the conversation. It's like, no words seemed perfect enough to be said to her. Why am I like this. Then finally, she broke the silence.
"Grayson, I'm s-so sorry", and that's all she managed to let out before she started to cry. Why was she sorry? I'm the one who should be sorry. She fell back down onto the bed and I watched her bring both her tiny hands up to her face as she covered her eyes.
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I quickly moved closer and wrapped both my arms around her. I let her cry into my chest. God I hate it when she cries. I hate it. I hate knowing that I'm the reason behind it.
"Alex, why are you sorry. I'm the one who is genuinely sorry. I messed up real bad and I let you down. I broke my promise to you. I'm the one who cheated. I'm the one who hurt you. I'm so sorry" I managed to say. But seeing her cry so badly brought tears to my own eyes. I began to cry as one of my hands stroked her messy hair and the other wrapped around her petite body. I tilted my head and leaned it on her left shoulder, we stayed that way for a couple of minutes. Dead silence took over and nothing could be heard except for our silent cries.
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"I- I love you Grayson, so much. Don't ever let me go again... pl-please", she softly spoke into my chest still crying.
Man I feel like a dick. I really fucking hurt her so bad. This was all an act she was putting on. When really, the entire time she was completely crushed. Crushed because of me. For a whole year she suffered alone, sad and I didn't even know. I wasn't there to help her. I wasn't there to love her when she needed it the most. She kept it all in behind a mask she was wearing. Not letting anyone know the truth. I feel beyond horrible.
"Never again Alexis, I'm never letting you go again. I promise you. And this time I swear I won't break the promise" I stuttered my words and my breathing became heavy. This was such an emotional moment. She's my baby girl. I love her. I could never ever hurt her again, no matter what. I can't stand to see her in pain.
She shifted slightly and looked up at me with glossy eyes. Her face damp from the tears. "I love you" she whispered as she leaned in and connected our lips. There is was. That spark that we had every time we would kiss. That special energy that filled up inside us as our lips moved in sync. Gosh damn I'm so in love with this women. This beautiful angel and literal perfection sent to earth.
This is going to be our fresh new start. And I'm making sure I do every thing right this time. She deserves the best, and I want to make sure I can give that to her.
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Alexis's POV
I leaned up and looked at him in the eyes. His beautiful mesmerizing god damn eyes.
"I love you" I whispered and saw his entire face light up. Then I leaned in and kissed him. I swear to god these butterflies are going to kill me one day. I felt it. That connection. I don't care if he cheated on me, because that's in the past and I don't want the past to ruin our potential future. He's apologized to me many times which I appreciate. I know, a lot of people will call me stupid for forgiving him. But he really is my forever boy and I'm so in love with him. Nothing he does or says could make me hate him.
We sat there in silence, he cuddled me in his embrace as he stroked my hair repeatedly. He's found me again. I was so locked up in portraying this bold and rude bitchy impression but he's broke me from that and brought me back to who I really am. He's found me.
He's the one I want to be with for the rest of my life. He really is the one.
