him & I | gd

smooth sailing

Alexis's point of view

It had been a couple weeks since Grayson and I became official and everything was smooth sailing and perfect until that stupid stupid day. That devastating day that my life would fall apart after. My mother passed away. My mother meant every thing to me. She was my best friend.

I couldn't stop crying. I was sobbing and sobbing as my vision became blurry and dark and my head ached with throbbing pain. My mind started to drift off and I lay there in my bed, eyes wide open starring at the ceiling blankly.

What the fuck just happened.

It all hit me. My mother, my beautiful mother would no longer be here with me now. I didn't have anyone to run to with all my problems anymore. I would never see her smile anymore.

I wouldn't see her at all anymore.

I cried and cried some more when I heard my phone ring. Grayson.

I picked up.

"Hey baby" he said with a bubbly tone.
"Hey" I simply said back with no tone.

"I have something to tell you Alexis, can I come over" he asked.

"I have something to tell you too, you can come over". I told him.

I knew I had to tell him about my mother. I was holding back all these emotions yet the only one I had let out was sadness. I felt sick to my stomach.

Grayson's point of view

I knocked on the door and as it slowly opened, it revealed my girlfriend. Cheeks wet with tears. Eyes red and puffy from crying. Hair messy and hands shaking.

From seeing her in this state, my first extinct was to hug her. Scoop her up in my arms and never let go. Who did this to her? Why was she crying?

I ran up to her and wrapped my left arm around her waist whilst slowly stroking her hair with my right hand.

"What happened baby, what's wrong" I asked her confused to the max.

And with that she let it all out. She broke down in my arms wetting my shirt with her tears. I couldn't care less. I slowly walked her over to the couch still hugging her. I kissed her forehead multiple times.

She finally spoke, eyes watering with tears as she told me that her mother passed away. I couldn't even imagine how much she was hurting.

I told her it would be okay and she would be better after some time. She only cried.

The reason I came here was to tell her that I loved her. I couldn't hold back anymore.

"Alexis I love you, everything will be fine baby" I spat out as tears formed in my eyes from seeing her like this.

She looked up at me blanking staring into my eyes with no emotion.

And she cried.
She didn't say it back.
She cried.

I was hurt. But that's the last thing I would care about right now. I needed to look after her.

Alexis's point of view

He told me he loved me and I didn't say it back.
There are many reasons why.

I'm already so confused with what happened with my mum and I didn't feel like it would be the best time to say anything about love. Since my biggest love passed away.

I was so taken back by his sudden actions I didn't know what to say. I was baffled.

Grayson is amazing don't get me wrong, he's perfect but we haven't been together for that long, I don't know if I love him. Not yet.

That's the last thing I want to think of right now.

He stayed the night comforting me. I was so thankful I have him. I would actually go crazy without him. But I need some time away.

Away from him.
Away from modeling.
Away from everyone.

I need some time to be alone and clear my head.

So I told him that he had to go and I needed some space. It was fucking hard. He had tears welling up in his beautiful eyes. Eyes that I seem to get lost in.

He told me that he would always be there to support me and love me. He promised me. I said thankyou. That's all.

Grayson's point of view

We woke up the next day laying in bed and suddenly the conversation I never wanted to have took place between us. She told me she needed to be alone and she needed time off from everything. She was isolating herself from everyone and everything.

I don't even know if this would make her feel better. But if it's what she wants then I'll let her and support her.

I was standing in the from door leaning on the doorframe with my arms crossed as I was about to leave. Who knows when I'll see her again.
"I promise you Alexis, I'll be here to love and support you forever". I told her.

She looked at me and told me a simple thankyou. I guess she really doesn't love me. But that's okay.

I kissed her, told her to take care and left.

Alexis's point of view

He left.
( that's in bold because it will be said again later in the story oof)

I don't know what's wrong with me. Why can't I just say it back. I'm hurting him each time he tells me he loves me because I don't say it back. I see it. I fucking hurt him. Real bad.

I went and layed in my bed again.
That's pretty much all I did for the next few days.

Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months.

My lying in my bed barely doing anything. Grayson called me every single day for the first two weeks to see how I was. But in the end, I told him to not call me at all. I reminded him that I was taking time off of everything. He sounded hurt over the phone. But it's what I had to do. It's what I wanted to do.