him & I | gd

cravings

Alexis's POV

Every single bone in my body felt weakened to the core. I feel like everything that once meant something to me had been snatched from me. Well it has.

Grayson meant so much to me but now he's gone.
Same goes for my mother.
And same goes for me.

I'm not who I used to be and I hate it. It has genuinely come so far that I hate myself. I hate what I have become. Now thinking back I've realized how immature and childish I reacted to our breakup.

But I know that I only acted that way because I've never loved anyone like I love him.
He means everything to me. Every single bit of me craves him.

I crave his touch. The way his smooth fingers would run up and down the sides of my body. The way he would lock hands in place with mine as we walked down the shore of the beach. The way he would fiddle with my hair as we chilled at home watching movies all night.

I crave his lips. His soft pink and plump lips that would connect with my own to show affection and love.

I crave his voice. How each word perfectly falls out of his mouth. How he would tell me that I'm beautiful. How he would tell me that I'm perfect. How he would tell me that he loved me and would never leave me.

I crave his attention. How he would wrap his muscular and toned arms around my waist and let me run my fingers through is silky hair as we sat on the sand looking at the sunset.

I crave him. All of him.
I crave his love once again.
I never stopped craving it.

______________________
_____________

Grayson's POV

Here I was once again, walking through the woods at 1 am. Thinking about nothing but Alexis and Alexis only.

I picked up speed as the leaves and plants crunched under each step I took.
Branches from the towering trees brushing and scratching my skin. It's been a few days since our last interaction with each other. A few days since she lashed out at me.

I want her so desperately. So so desperately. Every inch of my body wants her.
I need her. She is literally everything I live for. Never have I ever loved anyone the way I love her. My heart aches for her.

Just to hear her angelic voice once again. For it is music to my ears.

Just to see her beautiful eyes once again. As they glisten and glow amongst all others.

Her beauty never fails to amaze me. I'm so torn without her. I stop in my tracks as my hands fumbled around and reached in the pocket of my shorts. I found my phone and brought it up to my face.

Hey Alexis, how are you doing?
No, makes me sound stupid.

Hi, I think we need to talk.
No, sounds too harsh.

Hey Alexis, I really miss you. And I'm so so sorry. Please just give me another chance.
Oh my god what am I doing.

My hands literally begin to sweat just thinking about her. I turn off my phone and shove it back in my pocket with a huff. It's one am and I'm here trying to text her. She's probably asleep unlike me. Ive been having sleepless nights since the past year. Insomnia keeps me up. My brain goes wild just thinking about her. About us. As I can't figure out a way, a simple way to fix this mess and it makes me mad.

I'll text her later in the day.

_____________________
___________

*Few hours later*
Alexis's POV

*ding*
The flash and sound of my phone snapped me back to reality from my thoughts. It was 2pm now and I hadn't gotten out of my bed. I was back to being that same mess I hated being. Not getting out of bed, being lazy, crying etc.

I rolled over and grabbed my phone from my nightstand. Grayson. Well I was definitely not expecting that.

"Hey Alex, I feel like we need to talk... about a lot of things. Would it be okay if you met me at that beach" it said.

Him calling me that nickname he gave me gave me butterflies through the phone. I should have seen this coming. He really isn't one to give up. He's going to get me to break out of my tough shell. He's going to make me loose the bitchy girl act. I just know it.

"Of course, I'll be there in ten" I replied.

I quickly hopped out of bed and washed my face, threw on some clothes not caring what I looked like. And just like the I headed out the door. I decided to walk since this beach was so close to where I lived.

As my footsteps headed towards the beach, my eyes became watery. Tears welled up in them.
This is the same beach where Grayson and I first met. I sighed to myself and looked around for him. As my eyes landed on him I felt like my whole body was melting. I wrapped both my arms around each other, hugging my body tightly.

My vision became blurry and dark and I started to feel so overwhelmed. My breathing hitched as my head was spinning. Yup I know what this is. I was having another panic attack. Before I knew it, my eyes fluttered shut and my body loosely fell to the ground landing on the warm sand.
___________________
__________

Grayson's POV

I waited on the beach looking around for Alexis. Suddenly from the corner of my eyes I felt a familiar figure fall to the ground. It was Alexis. My heart began to beat out of my chest as I ran towards her. Quickly I scooped her up in my arms and took her to my car. I placed her unconscious body flat in the back seat of my car and I started driving. My hands gripped the wheel tightly and my knuckles became white from the pressure. I took her to my apartment since Ethan wasn't home.

I know what this is, she's having a panic attack. She's had these before when we were together.

We reached the apartment and I quickly picked her up bridal style and entered the apartment. I put her on my bed and quickly filled up a glass of water and brought it to her. She'll wake up soon. Maybe like in the next ten minutes or so.

I paced back and forth in my room impatiently waiting for her to wake up. I just want to make sure she's okay.

No no no.
I didn't want it to go this way.
I didn't want any of it to go this way.