The Canadian Boy Next Door (S.M)

Part 15

Shawn POV-

   I get back to my house and remember I forgot to talk to Leah. Shit. I need to tell her. On the day we all went on a walk together I saw Ian's phone.

   He went to use the bathroom, and I saw that he was texting someone. Her name was Sierra. She's Lauren's friend. He had never talked about her before and I was confused.

   I read through the texts and turns out he is dating her too. At the same time as Leah. I didn't say anything to him, but it pissed me off. He's cheating on Leah.

   I wasn't completely sure if he was dating Sierra and I wanted to find out more, so didn't tell her that night. I wasn't sure if I should tell Leah. She seemed so happy and I didn't want her to be upset.

   I decided I needed to tell her a few days later. If Lauren was cheating on me, I'd want to know. And of course I fucking forgot to tell Leah after the movie.

...

   In the middle of the night, I go down to eat something because I can't sleep. I look out the window and see a car pull into Leah's house.

   I watch her mom get out and open the car door for Leah. They start talking and Leah says something to her. They hug and her mom walks inside and Leah sits down on her porch steps.

   I open my front door and walk out. "Hey Leah," I say. She doesn't look at me. "Hi," she says quietly while staring at the ground.

   "I saw your car pull in and just, I don't know, wanted to say hi. That movie was good didn't you think?" I ask. She replies quietly, "Um, Shawn? Do you think I can just sit out here by myself?" She wipes her eyes. Is she crying?

   "Oh, um, yeah. Sorry." I'm about to go back into my house when I realize why she is crying. "Is it about Ian?" I ask. She looks up at me. "Yeah. Wait, did you know?" She wipes her face again.

   "Yeah," I say quietly. "You knew?" She starts to sound angry. She stands up and walks closer to me. I see that her eyes are red and her face is splotchy.

   "I was going to tell you at the movies," I say. "At the movies? For real?" She's pissed. Fuck. She sighs and looks at the ground, "When did you find out?"

   "The day we went on a walk together." She looks at me again. "That was a week ago!" What am I supposed to do when a girl is screaming at me? "I wasn't sure though, so I wanted to wait until I kn-"

   "You could of said something! I could have talked to him or asked Sier-" I interrupt her by cupping her face in my hands. "Leah." She looks startled, then relaxes herself.

   "I'm sorry I didn't say anything sooner," I say nervously. She puts one of her hands on top of one of mine. "I shouldn't be mad at you. I'm sorry I yelled. I just need to go to bed." I look into her eyes for a few more seconds and see how sad she is.

   I remove my hands from her face before I do something stupid. "Ian's an ass. He doesn't deserve someone like you." She looks away from me and tears roll down her face.

   I wrap my arms around her. She just lets me hold her at first, then puts her arms around my waist. She sobs into my arm. I rub her back.

   I've never seen her cry. She's always been so tough. It was almost like she had no emotions at all before. Now she's crying her eyes out into my shirt.

   I let go of her and say, "Go get some sleep." She looks into my eyes one last time then goes inside of her house. I wait until the door closes then head up my steps.

   I shut the door and lean against it. I sigh. I like Leah a lot. I can't believe someone would do that to her. She doesn't deserve to feel like this at all, but I can't help but smile because that was the first time we hugged.

...

    I went to a meeting with Andrew and the rest of the crew to discuss when we should plan my first tour. I'm excited, but mostly nervous. This is a big step and I'm worried I'll fuck it up.

   We decided to start the tour in August and it's March right now. We have a while, but the time is going to pass quickly and we're going to have to work hard.

   I decided that after this year, I'll probably just be homeschooled. I don't want to return to regular school when I know I want to keep making music. I don't know how to tell Lauren though.

   She's going to be so upset and we will probably have to break up. I'm not sure if I'd care. I honestly don't know how I feel about our relationship anymore. I don't know if I like Lauren or Leah.

   Lauren is so sweet and can always make me laugh. She cares for me and I think we have the relationship other people hope to have. Lauren has just always been there for me.

   Then there's Leah. She's always just been there for me too, in a different way. She's been there to give me dirty looks, to fight with me, and to ignore me. She's changed though.

   She acts tough, but she is actually really delicate. She tries to hide her emotions most of the time, but I like when she opens up, like when she did the other day.

   She makes me so fucking nervous too. I can never find the words to say to her and end up being awkward. I hate that. I'm not sure if it's a good thing that I'm nervous around her or not.

   The main difference between Lauren and Leah, is that Leah doesn't try. She's so real. She doesn't wear makeup, or the clothes everyone else wears, she's just herself. I like that.

   Lauren is pretty though. I think girls are jealous of her looks and guy's check her out. She honestly is stunning, so I can't blame them.

   Everyone thinks we are perfect for each other because I'm some fit, tall dude and she's a skinny, hot girl. I don't like when people say that. It shouldn't matter. Just let me be with someone I like instead of telling me who I am 'supposed' to be with.

   I think Leah is more than pretty. She's fucking beautiful. If someone is beautiful, it means something completely different.

   She is beautiful because of the way she makes my heart skip a beat every time she looks at me. She is beautiful because of the way she laughs during scary movies and fills the room with happiness instead of fear.

   She is beautiful because of the way she admires the stars with her head tilted back smiling. She is beautiful because of the way she is so passionate about art.

   Leah is beautiful because of the way she leaves me breathless every time I am with her.

   I smack my forehead. Leah doesn't even have these types of feelings for me. We just recently became friends, and here I am calling her beautiful. She probably doesn't even think about me. We can't even be together anyway. Her and Ian recently broke up, and I like Lauren. Yes, that's correct. I like Lauren, not Leah.

   Ugh. That's a fucking lie. Maybe if I spend more time with Lauren, I will stop liking Leah.