The Canadian Boy Next Door (S.M)

Part 22

Shawn POV-

It's like a timer. Each day that passes, our amount of time decreases more and more. It fucking sucks.

I try to pretend that I'm okay, but it's hard to hide how miserable I feel. I don't want to say goodbye to Leah. I want to be with her, but it's impossible. I feel like she might think I'm doing what I did to Lauren. Choosing my career over her.

But that's not what I did to Lauren. I chose Leah over Lauren. Now, I feel terrible because I can't even be with Leah and it's tearing me apart and I can't stand it, but I have to accept it sooner or later.

I'm so stupid. Why did I have to start something with Leah, when I knew that I shouldn't have a relationship with tour starting? I not only fucked up Lauren's feelings, but now Leah's? Shit. I feel terrible.

However, I did not feel terrible when we kissed. It was amazing. Not a day goes by where that doesn't cross my mind. It was so magical. It was like nothing else mattered except my lips on hers in that exact moment.

Every time I see Leah, I absolutely crave her. I crave the sound of her voice, her laugh, and her smile, god, her smile is so beautiful. I wish I could gaze into her gorgeous green eyes for days, and that I could wrap my arms around her whenever I want to. But I can't.

We never established if we would spend the rest of this month together as friends, or more than friends. I'm so confused. I would like to be more than friends, even if it's only for a month, hell, I'd want that even if it was just for an hour.

Maybe this isn't the time to start something when we will have to end it so soon. We probably shouldn't take things any further. But a part of me, well most of me, doesn't give a shit. I think making the best of the time we have left would be to take it to the next level. That way we spend the time we have left in the best way possible.

...

   It's been four days since Leah and I kissed, and we haven't really done anything exciting to make the best out of the time we have left. So, I decided I wanted to take her somewhere.

   I walk into first period and scan the room, trying to find her. I sigh when I see she's not here yet and take a seat.

   I keep my eyes on the door, looking as people come in. A few of them give me weird looks and I don't blame them, I probably look like a psycho staring at everyone as they enter the room.

   I finally see Leah in the doorway. I see her wearing athletic shorts and a grey t-shirt with her hair down. I like when she wears her hair down, it looks really pretty. I should probably tell her that sometime.

   I stand up and walk towards her. Her eyes meet mine and she opens her mouth to talk but I cut her off as my anticipation gets the best of me. "Do you want to skip with me? I want to take you somewhere."

   She hesitates for a moment before responding, "Yeah, sure." I smile a little before heading out the door with her following behind me.

   We walk through the doors to get to the parking lot and I look around for my car. "You're fucking crazy, Shawn," Leah says. I smile at her and spot my car, starting to head towards it.

   "What's with you being a badass all of a sudden and skipping school?" She laughs. "I don't know, honestly," I respond, trying to hide the smile forming on my face.

We reach the car and I open the passenger seat door for Leah and back away so she can get in. "Thank you." She is about to get in when she turns her head and asks, "Wait, where are we going?"