Want You Back

9.

A/N: Happy Mother's Day to all the mums out there! x

"What the fuck do you want?" I hissed.

Luke raised his hands in the air in surrender. "Hey, hey, I just came to check on you."

I scowled and crossed my arms over my chest. "Well you've seen me - now get the hell out."

"Jas-"

"No, you don't get to talk, Luke. You promised me that I wouldn't have to ever see you again after today. Why won't you just leave me the hell alone?"

He swallowed and ran a hand through his hair. "I know what I said, I was just hoping you would change your mind." He said quietly.

"I just want to move forward; I just want to move on with my life. Why won't you give me that?"

"Because I still love you."

I closed my eyes, jaw clenched and hands balled. "How dare you. How fucking dare you, Luke Hemmings. You don't get to cheat on me and come into my life, three years later, and tell me you love me. Who the fuck do you think you are?"

"I think I'm the guy you met, four years ago, who made the biggest mistake of his life and if trying to fix things with the woman he loves." He said, without skipping a beat.

I laughed. "You don't cheat on people who love."

"Jasmine, I was eighteen and high on life. It was a mistake, the biggest mistake of my life."

I turned to stare at him. "Tell me, how would you feel about me if the situation was reversed? If you had to find out about your girlfriend's infidelity from an online article, from a friend who was worried. Tell me, Luke, how would you feel?"

He said nothing, eyes glued to his shoes.

I shifted my jaw. "Exactly. And that is my point. It doesn't matter who you are or how bad it is what you did - what matters is that you cheated on me, and didn't have the balls to admit to it yourself. You destroyed me, Luke. I didn't confront you about until three months after I read the article. Three fucking months!"

"That isn't my fault, Jasmine! You could have spoken up earlier, and you know it." He defended himself.

I laughed again; another humourless laugh. "Really? Is it my fault that I wanted so badly to ignore the rumours about you cheating on me with a different girl every night? Is it my fault that I wanted to keep my relationship with the man I loved going a little longer? Is it my fault that I wanted to pretend everything was okay?" Tears were stinging my eyes now, and I fought to keep them at bay. I hated being weak.

Luke was speechless.

I stood up. "I should go."

"No," Luke was on his feet and reaching for me. "Stay, please." His fingers closed around my wrist. "I want to talk about this."

"There's nothing left to say."

"That's so cliche."

"Well, it's the truth. You could have said something so many times in the last three years, but you didn't. And that's that." I tore myself from his grip and made a beeline to the door, fingers reaching for the doorknob.

"What about everything I didn't say!" He blurted out suddenly, making me pause.

I turned towards my ex-boyfriend slowly, furrowing my eyebrows. "What?"

"Everything I didn't say," he said. "The song."

I hummed in response. "What about it?"

"It's perfect for this situation."

"Excellent observation, Mr. Hemmings," I drawled out sarcastically. "But how does that relate to this at all?"

"The lyrics, they just match this so well. I-I could sing you the song - maybe that would help..." He mumbled to himself.

I raised a hand in the air, signalling him to stop his rambling. "Luke, just stop. I don't need or want you to sing a song to me, what I want it for you to leave me alone."

"But I don't think I can do that."

I closed my eyes. "Then it's a good thing that I'll be leaving Australia in a few days. Then we'll never have to see each other again."

Luke's eyes widened. "No, Jasmine. Please. Don't say that."

"You owe me this, Luke!" I shouted, all composure shattering. "I deserve better than you, I deserve the chance to move on!"

Luke sat down on the couch again, his head falling in his hands, fingers tugging at his dirty blond hair. "Dammit, Jazz, don't you think I know that? Don't you think it eats me alive to think about what I did to you - to us? I wish I could take it back more than anything in the goddamned world, yet I can't."

"And yet," I breathed, the tears finally leaking from my eyes. "You still haven't apologized."

"What the hell are you talking about? Of course I apologized. I begged and pleaded for you to take me back." Luke said, frustration evident in his deep voice.

I huffed. "Oh, you begged and pleaded, but you never apologized to me, Luke. You never said 'sorry' or anything."

"What's the difference anyways?"

I turned to him, my mouth agape. "Did you just say that to me? Seriously?"

"Wait, no, that came out wrong. Jasmine I-"

I shook my head. "No, forget it. I should go now."

"Jasmine, wait. Fuck, shit, um, wait, don't tell me, heaven is a place on earth. I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn't show you what you're really worth. The way, you held me, I wish that I had put you first. I was wrong, I admit, numb from your kiss, while you were slipping through my fingertips." Luke sang quietly, breaking into the lyrics of Everything I Didn't Say.

My head dropped and my hand on the door slackened. "Luke, stop." I croaked.

He ignored my protests and stepped closer to me. "Taking every breath away, with all of the mistakes I made, from all the letters that I saved, this is everything I didn't say. I wish I could've made you stay, and I'm the only one to blame, I know that it's a little too late, this is everything I didn't say."

I was crying now, my heart aching with the all-too familiar lyrics and his deep, melodic voice. "I need time to heal, Luke. If you're going to be in my life again, then I need time to heal first."

Luke nodded, eyes sad yet full of longing.

I turned back to the door, rolling my shoulder back as I opened it.

"Jasmine." I paused, not turning around. "I'm sorry."

I swallowed back more tears, nodding. "I know."