Want You Back

17.5

It all happened so fast. I never saw it coming.

Luke dropped to his knees before me, eyes pleading, begging. He was reaching for me, reaching for us.

I turned away from him, pained to see him in pain. Funny how he didn't seem to care when I was in pain, or else he never would have cheated on me in the first place.

My head felt surprisingly clear and level-headed despite the circumstances. Maybe it was my 'fight or flight' instinct finally kicking into high-gear, but whatever the case I was suddenly moving like a girl with a plan.

"Jasmine, don't do this." Was all he said.

I closed my laptop and began to fold the blanket - I wanted to erase my presence from this tour bus; I wanted it to be as if I'd never been there at all.

"Please," he begged, still on the floor. "You can't do this. You can't leave."

"I thought the same thing about you - I thought you'd never do this to me, yet you did. You did it to spite me."

"No, no that isn't true, could never be true. Please, Jazzy." He pleaded, trembling fingers brushing my leg. I recoiled as if he'd burned me even though every nerve in my body screamed for me to fling myself into his arms.

Luke shifted back and stood up, towering over my petite frame with ease, yet he looked small, vulnerable - he looked afraid.

"I love you," he choked out.

I winced at his confession, and only then did I look at him. "You know what Johnny Depp says about falling in love with more than one person, Luke." If possible, my words managed to shatter my own heart even more.

He shook his head. "No, I don't love her, I only love you. Only you, only ever you."

"If you really loved me you wouldn't have cheated on me."

"It was a mistake - we all make mistakes, that's what you always say. Let me fix this."

I quirked an eyebrow at his words. "How can something be a mistake if it happens more than once?"

Luke said nothing, having realized that I knew that his infidelity spanned more than a one-night-stand.

"When it's more than once, Luke, it becomes a habit, and a habit is hard to break." I swallowed.

"Let me fix this," he repeated.

I picked up my laptop and pushed past him, making my way to my bunk - I hadn't wanted to share Luke's bunk this tour, something he barely acknowledged. I didn't want to fall asleep at night wondering who else Luke had shared his bunk with; I didn't want to fall asleep beside a man who had been lying to me for months. I gathered my stuff quickly - I hadn't bothered to unpack much at all. It was a sign I suppose, a sign that I would be leaving prematurely - a sign Luke had chosen to overlook, time and time again.

"I want to fix this - let me fix this. Tell me how to fix this." He grabbed my arm.

I shook him off roughly, jarring my shoulder in the process, yet I merely gritted my teeth through the pain. I needed to get out of here, off this bus.

The bathroom was my next destination. I pushed through the door - it was unlocked, like it usually was, except for when Luke used it late at night, after he'd come back from a club and checked to make sure I was asleep but I never was. I liked to wait up in bed and listen to the sound of my boyfriend's obvious infidelity. Call it masochistic but for me it had become almost soothing, listening to the man I loved love another woman's body; proof of how much I loved Luke Hemmings, proof that showed I loved him so much that I could bear the sounds of him cheating on me as long as he was happy. Love is all about sacrifices, as they say.