Left You Behind

7

Rian's Pov:

We slowly pulled in front of the large white house of the neighborhood. As much as I wanted to say hi to the other band I needed to visit mom.

"I'll be back in 5." I called out before I jogged off the bus and down the broken sidewalk. I stood in front of the house as I remembered the night. The night that will always haunt me. I took a deep breath and made my way inside. "Mom it's me." I called out. She came out of the kitchen and hugged me tightly.

I know she's a lonely woman since Cat got married and dad passed away. Part of me worried for her since she was alone but another part of me knew she was strong enough.

"You going off on tour?" She asked.

"Yeah. The band we're touring with lives down the street so I figured while they load up I'd stop by." I sighed.

"Usually you call even if you are close. Why are you really here?" She asked blatanly.

"I'm worried about y-"

"Shut it Rian. I know when something's bothering my son. Now what's wrong?"

"If you could go into the past and change things would you?" I deadpanned. I needed to know if she knew how dad would treat Frankie, would she leave dad or let Frankie leave like she did. It seemed so easy for her to let Frankie run out the door without saying a word or even looking back. If she knew, would things be different or exactly the same?

"If you're talking about Frankie then yes dear I would. I made a stupid mistake that cast her away. I thought we weren't prepared enough for her. I wish I never said those cruel things to her. I wish I never listened to your father's cruel manipulation when it came to Frankie. I never realized how happy she made you and Cat until she went missing. It took me too long to realize what I had done." Mom sighed as tears pooled her eyes. "I am so sorry honey. I never meant to destroy any of your guys's lives like that. If I could go back in time and prove we were able to take care of her I would." I could see the genuine sadness in her eyes. Frankie was her last baby. She's her last child that she knows nothing about.

"I just wish I went after her. Maybe if I did then she would be here with us. Do you think she's okay?" I asked the last part quietly. I'm scared for her. Times are scary and anything could happen to her.

"She was a strong 6 year old so I do believe she made it in this world. I believe she found a place for her to stand and express herself. I bet you she's a beautiful kind hearted woman and if I know her well enough she's probably banging on drums somewheres just like you do." I smiled a little.

Frankie would always sit on my lap and try to play my drums as I worked the bass pedal. She would giggle so much as she tapped out small rhythmic beats. Cat would be on the bed admiring the scene in front of her.

"I think it's time to go." Mom sighed as we heard a beep outside. I hugged my mom tightly. "Just keep an eye out. You may find her one day. If you do, take your time." I nodded and kissed my mom on the cheek.

"Take care of yourself mom. Call me if you need anything and if you get my voicemail then try Aunt Mary. She'll always be there to help."

"I know I know. Now get going before Jack comes in and decides to take a detour route to my fridge again." She joked as she pushed me towards the door. I said goodbye one more time before I walked off her porch and jumped into the bus.

I waved out the window as we started to pull away. I watched as mom stood on the porch waving back until the house was no longer in sight. I sat on the couch regularly and sighed.

"You okay?" A small voice asked. I looked up and saw Frankie standing near the fridge. She was so small and fragile looking. Almost sick looking.

"Yeah. I'm just gonna miss my mom." I partially lied.

"I'm sorry. I'm sure your mom loves you dearly." She said the last part with a hint of anger before she went into the bunk alley and climbed into her bunk.

"Why can't life be easy? Like in fairytales?" I sighed as I ran my hands down my face. I just want my family full again. I want my life to be complete but without Frankie I'm afraid it never will be. Cat was able to move on and start her own family but me? Im staying right in my spot until I get my Frankie back.

Lukas's Pov:

"What's wrong hun?" I whispered as I climbed into her bunk. I knew exactly what was wrong because I heard it. Her tear filled lifeless eyes met mine. I wish I could just walking into the living room like area and tell Rian, but I couldn't. And it hurts me to see her in so much pain. Her past, the nightmares, her now daily reminder that her brother was able to continue his life without her.. Its just too much in her fragile mind.

"He got to see her." Her voice cracked as she buried her face in my chest. It always broke part of me seeing her like this or hearing her screams in the middle of the night.

This was an issue that could be easily fixed over time. But it scares her. She's afraid of the rejection and I'm hoping this tour will help her get over that fear. Yes part of me is worried that it will make matters worse. But a bigger part of me is trying be to optimistic.

"Everything will turn around for you. One day. It may not be today or tomorrow or next week or month. But it will happen." I reassured her as I hugged her tightly.

It's clear to everyone that Frankie won't open up to Rian. But maybe Rian will see the things we see and get her out of this hole she's stuck in.