Motionless In White One Shots

Stop, for My Sake - Ricky Horror

I had stopped crying a while ago, but the numbness remained. I looked down at my hands, the razor clutched between two fingers. One side was red from dried blood. I looked at my wrist, where one red line waited for others to join it. I lowered the razor to my wrist and was about to slide it across when the door opened.

Ricky stood in the doorway, shocked at the scene before him. In an instant, he lunged at me, tossing the razor aside and pushing me onto the couch. He pinned my wrists down and straddled my waist. I tried to struggle against his grip, but he was stronger. "Stop!" he barked. "Stop it! I know you might want to kill yourself, but think of everyone who wants you alive! The guys, your band, your family, me," he trailed off, his voice sounding like it's about to break. He looked into my eyes, his blue ones filled with tears. "You don't understand how much this hurts me to see you like this. I've been told you cut but I refused to believe it. Why didn't you just come to me?"

"I couldn't do that to you," I said. "You have your music to focus on and have so much going for you. Don't let me get in the way of that." Tears streamed down Ricky's cheeks as he looked at me.

"You mean more to me than anything," he whispered. "I would rather have you tell me what's wrong than have you worry about you bothering me. I--" His voice broke as he cried, "I don't know what I'd do without you."

He collapsed onto me, releasing my wrists and wrapping his arms tightly around my torso. His head rested on my chest as he sobbed. I felt terrible for making him cry. I had never seen him like this before. I didn't think he cared.

I wrapped my arms around him and held him close, running my fingers through his hair. A few tears escaped my eyes when I realized just how much damage I was doing to those around me when I cut. I felt...selfish.

After a few minutes, Ricky raised his head to look me in the eyes. "Listen to me, Savannah. You mean a hell of a lot more than you think you do. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I love you and I never want to see you do that again." He propped himself on his elbows and leaned forward, kissing me lightly.

Chris opened the door and we both turned our attention to him. "Sorry if I interrupted something. I just heard Ricky yelling and was wondering what was going on."

"It's okay," Ricky said. "I think we figured everything out."

Chris nodded and closed the door again. Ricky got off of me and laid down beside me on the couch, pulling me close to his body. He grabbed a nearby blanket and covered us both. He kissed my head and I snuggled closer to him as we dozed off.