Overdose of Happiness

19

Julie's pov

I woke up to the next morning to the sound of doctors and beeps. Evan's hands were still loosely wrapped around me but the doctors were trying to pull him away from me. I looked at the heart rate monitor and thats when it hit me,

Ethan is dying.

"She needs to get out now" the doctor shouted pointing at me and two nurses gripped my hand to get me out. I struggled to get out of their grip but I couldn't. I wanted to stay with Evan, this can't be happening now.

I heard the doctor immediately after I left doing CPR on him and I couldn't help but cry knowing that the only person that i love,the only person in my life, the reason why I have a reason for living is dying.

They stopped doing CPR suddenly but the heart rate monitor showed that the heart stopped beating. "No no no this isn't happening no" I mumbled to myself. I put a hand over my mouth to control myself from screaming.

Evan died which means all my happiness, love, care, joy died with him too. There is no point of living now without the only person I have in my life.

Death may indeed be final but the love we share while living is eternal. My heart is gone with Evan and there is no way I am going to take it from him and give it to someone who is going to break it.

Now I am not going to play the piano the same with Evan because my inspiration is gone. Evan's smile was my inspiration to play the chords of love and happiness. He was the reason for my going, happiness and motivation, filled every possible void in my and fixed every damaged part in his own way. I am not going to laugh the same as I used to with Evan. I am not going to laugh at his silly jokes.

I am not going to be happy again. I am going to be depressed and alone again.

I won't feel loved or cared anymore because Evan always loved and cared about me, never made me feel like I was alone.

They pulled the machines off and removed the tubes from his chest. I wanted to scream and cry out loud but nothing came out. It's like I died with Evan. I entered Evan's room where he lied there to tell him goodbye. Sadly it's our last goodbye.

He is just in my memories right now.

He looks like an angel. His face had it's glorious glow that's like diamonds, his lipe were pale by they still the soft kissable lips that I love and I am used to their taste, his hair was brushed and I ran my fingers through it.

I am going to miss this.

I walked over to him and squeezed his hand and placed a soft kiss on his forehead before sitting next to him.

"Hey" I whispered and I could feel my eyes already watering "I know you can't hear me but i want to tell you this before you leave" I took a deep breath before before continuing.

"Our love didn't last long but love isn't about the time. The love i have for you is crazy Evan that I can't even express it in words. I love you with everything that I have but now you are dead. So therefore I have nothing without you. I will always love you and only you. Evan i fell desperately and unconditionally in love with you.

We could have lived a happy life together it but like you said life is a bitch. You made me realize how worth it life is. You made me know what's the meaning of Real Love. You made me know the meaning of happiness.

I really don't know what am I going to do without you but at least I got the chance to know what happiness is. I love you endlessly Evan and I will miss you so much."

I leaned in placing a soft kiss on Evan's lips knowing that I will never feel or taste them again. I could feel how cold Evan's face was when I kissed him because of the tears that was streaming down my cheeks. I glanced One Last Time at Evan before leaving.

This is it, I will never see him again, I will never see her smile that lightens up the mood in a second, I will never have him to comfort me, I won't be able to see his  hypnotizing eyes again, I will play the piano all alone now and with no one listening to me.

I will never have him again.

*Two days later*

It's been two days since Evan left and I already want to die. I feel like a huge part of me is missing. It's still unbelievable.

It's so hard going to his funeral. Going to the funeral of someone that you love is the worst thing and the most heartbreaking thing.

It reminds me of my dad.

I got out of the car closing the door. I open my umbrella since it was drizzling. Dr Richards followed behind me as I walk towards Evan's grave. He insisted on coming to the funeral even though him and Evan only talked once.

I stood near the grave and then looked around scanning the place my eyes landimg on Ethan's family. His sister had her arms around her mother the both of them were crying dreadfully. Evan's father who looked terrible as his face was puffy and he was looking down at his son's grave. I can't imagine being in his place, losing both sons in less than a year is very hard to comprehend.

It started raining harder and it felt like even mother nature was sad that Evan left. People started leaving when it rained harder but I didn't care and I stayed mourning him, the person I love the most. I have no words to say but I could feel Evan near me that's why. I felt him wrapping his arms around my waist from behind and resting his chin on my shoulder.

"I love you Juls" his voice kept repeating in my head. They melted every time he told me I love you. I am going to miss him calling me with his sweet nicknames.

"I love you too Evan." I said even though I know he is not with me but I said it anyway.

" it's time to leave Miss Peters we are the only ones left" Dr.Richards said blocking my thoughts. It looks like I sunk in my thoughts about Evan since we were the only ones left. Dr Richard started walking towards the car giving me a moment. I looked at Evan's grave still not believing that I lost the only person in my life.

"Goodbye Evan."

I arrived at the hospital and went straight to Evan's room. I opened it and saw a nurse there cleaning it. She's smiled before walking over to me giving me a perfectly decorated letter.

"I was cleaning the room and I found a letter that had your name on it."

I took snatched the letter from her hand and she left after that. I sat on the bed and started reading it.

Dear Julie.......