Broken: Emily's Story

23

I eventually pull away from him and look at him. Why? I ask him. Why what? He asks.

Why'd you ditch your friends? Why are you helping me? I ask. They're not my friends. Not after how they've treated you, he says.

But why? I ask again. Because you're my friend and I care about you, he says.

I shake my head. No, that's not good enough, I tell him. You need a better reason than that.

I don't have one, because that's the truth, he says. He looks serious. There's a long moment of silence. Justin's words kept running through my head, like a broken record. Maybe he was right.

Why did it take you so long to find me? I ask. Well, you weren't exactly trying to be found. I didn't know where you lived, and you never went to the tree. I also didn't know your sister had died, so I didn't think about the cemetery, he says.

Oh, I say. He had a good point. Okay, one more question. If I'm a friend, then why the fuck do you keep kissing me? I ask, though I'm scared of the answer.

It's a friendly gesture, he says. He has a really funny grin on his face. I roll my eyes. Right, I say, Friendly gesture.

Yep, he says. He turns around and picks up a plastic bag on the floor. The music store bag. He takes it to his desk. He opens the laptop on his desk and turns it on. When the screen pops up, he enters his password and there's a picture of us from last year. It was strange to see myself so happy. I guess I looked pretty then.

He pulls out the stack of CDs in the bag and the music player. He inserts the first disc in his laptop and his screensaver is covered by a music window. It's the disc I picked up. He clicks a button on the window. After a bit, he ejects the disc and replaces it with another.

Eventually, when he's gone through the whole stack, he plugs the music player into the laptop. He transfers files to the player and ejects it. He closes all the windows and turns around.

Here, he says, holding out the player. I look at him.

I got it for you, he says. Well, that would explain why he picked up that one CD. I take it and look at it.

Thank you, I said. I didn't really know what to do. I wound up the ear buds around the player and slid it in my bag.

I'm gonna go make some dinner. You hungry? He says. I shake my head. He gets up and leaves the room. I sit on his bed.

My gaze eventually falls back on the picture.