Flawsome ✔

Chapter 12 - Back to the regular order

Friday, November 25th, 2016

As I wake up, I'm highly confused as to where I am. I feel someone holding onto my arm, the soft breathing touching my neck, causing goose bumps all over my body. I pull out of the persons hold, sitting up in panic to take a look around. As I wake up further, I do realize I am in Calo's room, and the memory of him crying in my arms for hours straight comes back. I remember how I decided on staying, since he calmed down far enough to fall asleep, but as soon as I left him to go downstairs and look for mom, he woke up and started crying again, shouting at Seino that he would always be alone, that he hated his life, that he wanted to be left alone and die in peace.

But it left me in the position I am in now; no familiarity at all, no chance of Pyper grabbing me clothes, no chance of mom making me breakfast and asking me if I'm having a good or bad day. No familiar route to school, if there's anybody even willing to bring me to school in the first place. There's nothing that I know, I have no idea how to behave, what to do, what to ask.

I should've gone home. Why would mom even accept me staying over the night? She knows I need my day to start off in the right way.

I need to go home, now. I need to take a shower, I need Pyper's outfit for me. I need anything but the things I can get in here.

I'm hyperventilating, as I am desperately trying to find my shoes and my hoodie, neither anywhere to be found. I slept in my boxer short and suddenly all I want is to get out of these dirty clothes.

Where are my clothes?

"Neo?" Calo sounds sleepy and confused.

"Where are my clothes?" I ask, trying to get control over my breathing. "My clothes, I need them. I have to go home."

"Mom probably took them to wash." He yawns, sounding sad and depressed, not at all moving to help me find my stuff.

"I need my clothes!" I shout at him, while panic rises. "I need to go home, Pyper needs to help me with my clothes. Mom knows what to make for breakfast. I have to go!"

"Calm down, mom makes decent breakfast..."

"It's not about decent breakfast!" I shout at him in anger. His eyes widen and the next moment, there's tears in his eyes. "I don't care about the stupid breakfast your mom makes! I need my own! I have to shower and get out of these disgusting clothes." I pluck the shirt, while my skin starts to tingle. I shake my head, pulling the shirt over my head, while scratching my arms repeatedly. "I wanna go home..." I sob, breaking down while seated in the middle of the floor. "I need my mom."

Calo is crying too, yet he rolled to the side of his bed to get out. "Put on some of mine. I got new clothes last week and they've never been worn." His voice is flat, no emotions, while tears stream down his face in the same time. "I'll go and ask dad to drop you off before work."

He drops sweatpants, a shirt and a hoodie in my arms, not at all trying to comfort me in any way besides handing me clothes to wear.

Lastly, he throws a new pair of boxers – still in their packing – and leaves the room.

I stare at the door while my breathing is still hitching, my sobs preventing me from calming my breath down far enough. While I really just want to go home. Who cares about these clothes? I need my shower, I need my own towels, my own soap, my own everything.

I remain seated, still crying and trying to control my breathing.

Calo comes back soon, holding something in his hands, while he sits down in front of me, placing a plastic bag over my mouth and nose. There're no emotions in his eyes, in his voice, nowhere. He's just like a robot; completely without feelings. But as soon as my breath calmed down far enough, he pulls me in his arms. It must be weird for his dad to find us like that, in the middle of the room, seated at the floor, both crying, though Calo is silently crying.