Flawsome ✔

Chapter 20 - We can't be friends

Saturday, December 24th, 2016

Calo pulled back shocked after several seconds, staring at me with the widest eyes I've ever seen. His face is a bit pale, but I can't remember if the paleness was already there or is caused by me kissing him.

I kissed Calo. And at that realization my eyes widen too.

"I'm sorry... I didn't w-want t-t-to ma... make you uncomfortable..." I stutter, as I think that is exactly what I did. I freak him out like the freak I am.

"What, no! I'm not... I am a bit... I don't... Neo? Are you gay?" He whispers the last part right before he stops us from floating further, pulling us to the side of a small pool of water.

"I'm not sure... I never even had feelings for anyone before. I don't even know if I feel this way because we're friends, or because I like you." I admit timidly, getting off the tube myself. "I never had a friend before, I never had feelings before. So I really don't know the difference."

"But you felt the need to kiss me."

I nod quickly, realizing that's probably a sign I like him more then just a friend. I never kissed Angela, right? I don't feel the need to kiss Seino, or Prayaav. They're friends.

But I wanted to kiss Calo. "It made me feel giddy... does that mean I like you?" I mutter, staring down towards the tube, holding it with my hands as Calo is standing in the middle of one of the holes.

He lightly grabs hold of my chin, pushing it upwards. He stares straight into my eyes shortly, and I subconsciously lean in a bit. He then meets me in the middle, initiating another kiss, which he deepens almost instantly.

And I'm done. This is it. This is the best feeling I've ever had in my whole life. It's the warmth that's radiation from his skin onto mine, it's the burning sensational marks his touches leave on my skin. It's the zoo in my stomach, the jolts of excitement. It's everything all at once, and for once there's not one single negative thought in my mind.

We separate with mutual initiation, both panting for air as we stare at each other.

"I like you." I tell him before I smirk. "That was the best..."

"You know it's wrong, right?" His eyes turn cold and he let's go of me, suddenly all distant. "You should fight these feelings like I do."

"What?" This time my eyes widen in disbelief. "It's not wrong, Cay! I told you before..."

"It is, and neither of us should give in to this."

"Shut up." I grumble annoyed. "You're wrong and I'm not going to fight the best feeling I've ever had. Because I've never even felt remotely close to good, and this was so much better then just good. I'm done feeling 'okay'. I'm done feeling mediocre. For once, I want to do what I want."

"But I don't. It feels wrong."

"It feels wrong to like me?" I whisper in shock, and it feels as if my heart breaks as he nods with the same cold look still in his eyes. "You don't want to like me..."

"I don't."

"Okay..." I nod, fighting back tears, stepping away from him. "Fine... but then we can't be friends anymore."

"We could still be friends -,"

"No," I shake my head firmly. "I can't be friends with someone who says being gay is wrong, while he's the whole reason I realize I might be gay. That means you think I'm wrong too. You don't accept me the way I am" My voice is cracking, nearing a point of breaking. I'm still capable of keeping in the pain and sadness. But I don't know how long I can stay that strong. So, I turn around and leave, descending the slide as fast as possible without a tube.